Narrator:Back aboard their sentient starship, two sergeants try to come to grips with the loss of the grocery money during the beer run.
Ch'vorthq:So... To whom shall we break the news about the pick-pocket?
Schlock:Technically, I should report to Commander Andreyasn.
Schlock:Kevyn won't be in favor of a retaliatory strike, though.
Ch'vorthq:Technically, I ought to report to warrant officer thurl, but he'll just want to cut losses... Right out of my next ten paychecks.
Schlock:You know, Commander Gyo used to be a bounty-hunter. He might see things our way.
Ch'vorthq:Haven't you noticed that there's less and less of 'Doyt Gyo, Violent Idiot' in him lately? Haban, that A.I. in his head, is not likely to see things our way.
Sign:Safety starts with 's'
Schlock:We could try Lieutenant Der Trihs. You know, exploit the fact that the only way he can find his butt is with an enemy boot.
Petey:You're arguing a moot point. You've already reported to me.
Schlock:Just 'cause you can eavesdrop on us, that doesn't make you an officer, Petey. You're just our ship.
Petey:I report directly to the captain, though... As an officer should.
Ch'vorthq:That cuts both ways, Petey. You get sent into the line of fire, just like a grunt.
Petey:I'm worlds smarter than anyone else on board, though. That says 'officer' right there.
Ch'vorthq:Gee, if he's that smart, and he gets shot at, he might qualify to be a sergeant.
Schlock:If he's that arrogant, though, he's officer material all the way through.