Sunday January 23, 2005
Book 6: Resident Mad Scientist — Part IV: Old Habits Die Hard

Transcript

NARRATOR: The Kelrik Hub is a high-traffic space station serving a hub gate in the wormgate network.  It is home to millions of people, plus a little-known escrow agency for contract killers.

GEN. TAGON: Relax, boy.  The waiting is always the hardest part.

KEVYN: *sigh*

GEN. TAGON: You prepped this one right.  Triply redundant backup, three retreat paths, and unknown faces fronting the operation.

KEVYN: If you say, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" I will be forced to kill you.

GEN. TAGON: Who, me?  I've been taunting Murphy since before the diapers you used to wear were invented.  I know better.

(unknown, over comm): Running-Back to Poppa Bear.  We've got the lost luggage.  Opening the umbrella.

KEVYN: Finally.

(comm chatter): WAAAUGH!   Rocket fire!

Gargamel here.  We've got no shot.  Repeat, no shot.

Pull back, Gargamel.

Ennesby!  Where are you?

I'm inbound.  Heads-down in three, two, one...

SFX: KA-BOOM

(comm chatter): Geez, Butch.  Do you think you used enough dynamite?

Dustoff time, boys.  Follow the shiny tanks.

Hey, what's this?

It was a wall.  Let's move!

No wait.  Look!

Grab it and run!  They're closing on you!

No, not that.  This!  Help me out with AAAIEE!

SFX: BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM

GEN. TAGON: Ah, the Muzak of the Tac-Room.

KEVYN: You taunted Murphy while I wasn't paying attention.  I can tell.

ENNESBY: Captain, you know the phrase, "Run like you stole something?"

KEVYN: Stole?  Did we steal something?

ENNESBY: After a manner of speaking, yes.

(unknown, airlock): Lucy!  I'm home!

KEVYN: Please tell me we didn't just steal from the escrow agency.

ENNESBY: Well, it turns out they already had a contract out on us.

GEN. TAGON: I'm not going to be the one to suggest that this means it can't get any worse.