Sunday December 20, 2015
Book 16: Big, Dumb Objects — Part III

Transcript

NARRATOR: Hullcutting...

SHODAN: How long on that hole, Lieutenant?

PI: Measure twice.

Cut once.

SHODAN: That statement had no units of time in it.

PI: This is a "friendly" entry. I'm assuming you want me to not kill anybody standing on the other side of this patch of hull?

SHODAN: Yes, but I'd rather none of us die of old age while we wait.

PI: The doorbell told me I need to punch through thirty-one centimeters of hullmetal sandwich...

PI: This ribbon of poly-doped boomex has to cut carbonan, burn piezogel, shatter ceramics, denature glass-phase titanalloys, and electrocute nanny-foam, and it needs to do all that without throwing shrapnel, incandescent gas, or hard rads at the nice people living inside.

If you want units of time, have a look at my math.

SHODAN: How.

Long.

PI: Stand.

Back.

SHODAN: *shouting* Fire in the hole!

PI: On zero!

Three... Two... One...

SFX: FOOOMP

PI: Oh, that was clean.

Let's have a...

... look... at...

my math...