Schlock Mercenary: The Archive Synopsizer

The Schlock Mercenary Archive Synopsizer

This page, continuously under construction, allows readers to quickly find their way through over three thousand strips in the Schlock Mercenary archives. It also provides handy links for buying Schlock Mercenary in book format, which get even handier as more books are available.

Book 1: The Tub of Happiness This is the first 507 days of Schlock Mercenary. Meet Schlock when he enlists, meet Breya when she buys the company he enlisted with, and meet Captain Tagon, who doesn't want to take orders from a woman. This 240-page collection of strips is in print, and you can buy it here.
Meet The Mercenaries Diplomatic Pouch of Doom Mini-Adventure Number One Everybody's Gotta Eat BOARDERS!! The Shopping Trip Bureaucracy Bountiful Bombs Ahoy Bounty Hunting	Big Haunted Battleship Interlude: Interrogation Big Haunted Battleship Battle for the Wormgate Union Blues Interrogation Interruption Equivocated Prevarication Magic Dream-Land Schlocktoberfest 2001

Book 2: The Teraport Wars
You've met the mercenaries. You've seen them kill or be killed. You've seen them kill AND be killed. Now see them recover lost body parts, fight in the biggest war on record, and create an entire demographic of clones. This positively ginormous assemblage of 493 strips, the second (and demonstrably better) half of the first 1000 in the archives fills 228 pages of book, and is available here.

Quest for Second Sight
...in which Schlock hires the company to help him steal a fresh set of eyes.
Part I - Through The Ages
Part II - Through a Darkened Glass
Part III - Through The Roof

The Teraport Wars
...in which we find that Admiral Breya Andreyasn has started a fight that the whole galaxy may need to help her finish.
Part I - Kickin' Buuthandi and Takin' Names
Part II - A Whole New Can o' Wormgates
Part III - F'Sherl-Ganni or Cut Bait
Part IV - Any Teraport in a Storm
Epilogue - Send in the Clones

Petey Promoted
...in which everybody's favorite psychopathic, schizophrenic, cuddly, suicidally-inclined Artificial Intelligence is given a little bit of rope.

Sawed-Off Schlockgun
Filling the Tub of Happiness
Schlocktoberfest 2002

Post Post-Dated Check Loan
... well, that last bit could have worked out better. But things could be worse, right?

Part I - Raising Capital Offensive
Part II - Tandem Acts of Kindness
Part III - Handsome Ransom
Part IV - Tempestuous Fugitives
Part V - Might Makes Right-Of-Way

Book 3: Under New Management
Captain Tagon, Sergeant Schlock, and the rest of "Tagon's Toughs" have been dragooned into hunting down an old friend. The trick isn't finding her. The trick is surviving long enough to get paid. This 80-page book is in print, and can be purchased here.

Part I - The REALLY Clever Monkeys
Part II - Tonight's Top Story
Part III - Board of Accidental Tourism
Part IV - Under New Management

Book 4: The Blackness Between
Tagon and company finally track down Admiral Breya. Explosions explode, treachery treaches, and the gorillas get naked. This 100-page book is in print, and can be purchased here.

Part I - Needle in a Haystack
Part II - Breya in the Zoojack
Part III - Trouble in the Outjack
Part IV - A Little First Contact
Part V - Backstabbing on the Fast Track
Epilogue - Taking a Crack at Payback

Book 5: The Scrapyard of Insufferable Arrogance
Captain Tagon, Admiral Breya, and their little fleet go hunting for work and spare parts... but not adventure. No, that was NOT what they were looking for. This 80-page book is due out in May of 2009.

Part I: Hand to Mouth
Part II: A Hand of Acey's (CSI Parody)
Part III: Handle With Care
Part IV: Hand it Over
Part V: Many Hands Make Light Work

Book 6: Resident Mad Scientist
Tagon and company take a vacation, take a new job, and make some powerful new enemies. And then they discover that the galaxy may just need saving... This book is due out in Fall of 2009.

Part I: Primate Principio
Part II: Schlocktoberfest 2004
Part III: Life's a Beach
Part IV: Old Habits Die Hard
Part V: Instant Replay

Book 7: Emperor Pius Dei
The Toughs get a new ride, an old vacation, and a chance to be on TV. Meanwhile, in the galactic core...

Part I: Big Schlock, Little Schlock, What Begins With Schlock?
Part II: Schlocktoberfest 2005
Part III: Return to the Tub of Happiness
Part IV: Touch and Go
Part V: Glamour Assault
Part VI: Long Arm of the Law

Book 8: The Sharp End of the Stick
Somehow Kevyn, Elf, Schlock, Brad, Nick, and Pronto have gotten themselves into primitive circumstances. Maybe things will get better if they make them worse first.

Part I: Jeopardy
Part II: Schlocktoberfest 2006
Part III: Out of the Frying Pan...
Part IV: Do You Mind if I Rewind?
Part V: Dropping The Other Shoe
Part VI: ...And Into The Fire

Book 9: The Body Politic
How much money do you need in order to swallow your pride (and sanity) and rescue a mortal enemy? How many times can you get paid for stealing the same corpse? How many of those payments will you actually remember to collect?

Part I: King for a Day
Part II: Royal Flush
Part III: Schlocktoberfest 2007
Part IV: We Kept The Party Hats
Part V: Collecting
Part VI: Thanks for the Memories

Book 10: The Longshoreman of the Apocalypse (working title)
New memories, new recruits, and a new contract. Welcome to Credomar, where things look like they can't possibly be made any worse.

Part I: Drydock