And now, disappointment…
Posted August 2nd, 2008 by Howard TaylerThis week I saw The X-Files: I Want To Believe and The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. My updated list of “Howard’s favorite summer films” is below, but you’ll have to scroll clear to the bottom to find these two:
1) Wall-E
2) Batman: the Dark Knight
3) Kung-Fu Panda
4) Speed Racer
5) Iron Man
6) Hellboy II
7) Get Smart
8) Wanted
9) Hulk
10) Indiana Jones
11) Hancock
12) The Mummy 3
13) Prince Caspian
14) The X-Files
15) Journey to the Center of the Earth
The X-Files movie really didn’t need to be an X-files movie. The Mulder/Scully interplay was baggage that slowed down what could have been an otherwise very engaging thriller. By making it an X-files film the producers hinted at the huge conspiracies and buried secrets that were the hallmarks of the TV series, and the result is that the big reveal ends up being a little disappointing. In a different context (let’s say it’s a police thriller featuring Morgan Freeman, Renee Russo, and Anthony Hopkins) it would have worked a lot better.
I think my favorite part of the film was figuring out that the lead FBI agent really WAS played by Amanda Peet.
On to The Mummy. I really like Brendan Fraser’s “Rick O’Connell” character. I also loved Rachel Weiss’s “Evie” character, but she’s played by Maria Bello now, and that was disappointing. This film was disappointing, too. It began with a long narrative intro reminscent of 10,000 B.C and the most recent Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles flick. Hey, Hollywood! SHOW, DON’T TELL! The exposition could have been much more interesting. So, after the movie lost me during a five-minute history lesson it went on to be really, really predictable. Oops, we brought a mummy to life! Now the risen ghoul must do two things in order to reach his full strength, and our heroes set out to stop him. They fail, and must then face him at full strength. And then, against all odds they win. I hope those didn’t constitute “spoilers.” Sorry!
Fortunately for me, the effects and action were a lot of fun. Even though I knew all the twists and turns, I could still enjoy the ride for the scenery.
Sadly, I think that this summer’s hit-parade has drawn to a close. It’s been a great season for movies. I’ve had a blast. But what’s left? Death Race? Well, yeah. I’ll see that, but I’m not expecting much.
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August 2nd, 2008 at 11:14 am
whew had me scared for a second that it was something serious like a teraport wars delay :P
juenger1701
August 2nd, 2008 at 11:33 am
BOO!
(That’s about the biggest adrenaline rush you’re getting this week, between the Mummy, X-files, and me saying “Boo.”)
August 2nd, 2008 at 8:34 pm
“Death Race” just won’t be the same without Sylvester Stallone, giant survival knives, David Carradine, puns involving surgically implanted explosive devices, and a pile of dead nursing-home caregivers.
August 2nd, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Heh, “The Mummy” has never been about plot so far as I can see. I plan to see it because of Jet Li; otherwise I would probably have skipped it.
August 2nd, 2008 at 11:08 pm
So far as I can tell, the only reason I’d have for seeing _The Mummy
3_ is the Bristol Beaufighter seen in the previews — and now I wonder
if they got the wing 0.303s in the right places (two in the port wing,
four starboard)….
_Death Race_ will be rubbish. I can smell it from here. :)
August 3rd, 2008 at 12:21 am
The summer may be over, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t good stuff to look forward to.
August has Pineapple Express (funny, if flawed) and Tropic Thunder (looks great).
September has Burn After Reading (the new Coen Bros, so that’s a can’t-miss) and Blindness (after the fantastic Saramago novel)–on the same day, no less.
October has Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist (starring the sainted Michael Cera), and the interesting spectacles of the Scanners remake, the overblown-noir Max Payne adaptation (which, if nothing else, promises to have florid, cynical voice-over narration and rocksome bullet-time sequences), and Oliver Stone’s new steaming pile of presidential biopic.
November promises the new Bond movie, the new Cormac McCarthy adaptation (The Road, complete with excellent cast), and the 6th Harry Potter film (by the same director as the fifth, which was the best in the series so far).
And December closes out the year with the shoo-in for Best Actor (and possibly others), the edge-of-your-seat political drama Frost/Nixon; the newest suburban satire from director Sam Mendes, Revolutionary Road (based on one of the best books I’ve ever read); the highly-anticipated Curious Case of Benjamin Button; and Frank Miller’s (/Will Eisner’s) “The Spirit”, which promises to be the result of a master artist (Miller) taking a master craftsman’s tools (Robert Rodriguez) and making something new and beautiful with them.
A good third of the rest look interesting, but I simply haven’t heard a thing.
So don’t be disappointed; 2008 is already a wonderful year for film, and it’s only half over–chances are the best has yet to come.
August 3rd, 2008 at 12:26 am
how can you be meh about death race? how could one possibly expect to be dissapointed in a movie where all the interesting parts of the “plot” are exposed right in the previews?
don’t get me wrong, I enjoy action shoot em up movies for the pure visceral thrill, but tell me how someone thinks a plot will work on the premise “I was wrongly accused of murder, now I’ll kill everyone who gets in my way to prove my innocence” yeah you’ve been wrongly accused, and if they did a real good job, you’ll likely go to jail for a long long time. if, however, you kill dozens of people, endanger the lives of countless more, and cause millions of dollars worth of damage, all while avoiding, assaulting, and possibly killing law enforcement…the end result is almost guaranteed to be worse! and somehow when you finally prove that you weren’t guilty of that first murder, then all the other massive numbers of laws you DID break are just going to be swept under the rug?
still explosions, car chases, and boobs…does a lot to numb the brain for the hour and a half
August 3rd, 2008 at 3:14 am
I don’t see how you put Mummy above Caspian. I personally thought the cast, plot and effects were better (slightly) in Caspian. I maintain the only reason that I managed to stay awake through Mummy was because of the 64oz Big Gulp, and the fact that I had to clock out when it was over.
malice: Don’t forget the new Punisher movie in December, as well as the movie version of Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight. Oh, and Clone Wars in August.
August 3rd, 2008 at 6:18 am
Caspian was pretty snoozy for me. What can I say?
August 3rd, 2008 at 7:16 am
I’ve seen about the same list. Wall-E and Dark Knight are competing for the top of my list as well. I’m looking forward to the Bond movie in november, but that’s not a summer movie. I’m also not looking forward to clone wars, which just doesn’t work for me.
August 3rd, 2008 at 7:35 am
Let’s not forget Midnight Meat Train and Beer for My Horses. The latter has characters named Rack and Skunk, and the former has, uh… meat! Surely Oscar contenders both.
August 3rd, 2008 at 12:10 pm
You folks disappoint me. You are blowing $10US apiece to see these lousy flicks? Howard’s next book is gonna be in the $25-30 range. Three phunky movies (two, if you bought as little as one soft drink) will pay for that book. Think, people! Think!
Oh, and I can already smell the taint from a Death Race remake, a Scanners (!) remake, Yet Another Punisher movie, And Yet One More Harry Potter movie, and, to top all this drivel off, a Star Wars cartoon. Ick. Thank goodness I have books to read.
August 3rd, 2008 at 5:23 pm
@Psychosomatic: Good point! I’m seeing this films so that you people don’t HAVE to. That way you can spend your movie money on Schlock books! And magnets! And shirts and posters and coloringbooks and desktop backgrounds….
August 3rd, 2008 at 6:25 pm
I go to the local Mattinee (sp?) it’s like $6
I always buy a howard book, signed or pictured (if I log on fast enough) I don’t allow my crappy movie budget affect my schlock mercenary budget, only my food budget ;)
August 3rd, 2008 at 6:33 pm
What about “Space Chimps”..?
(sniff!)
August 4th, 2008 at 1:49 am
See, being a big X-Files fan, I thought the interplay between Scully and Mulder was the movie, and the plot was in the way of that. The movie was weak, no question, and it could have been better, but I liked it.
August 4th, 2008 at 8:53 am
@DeeJaye6: If the plot is getting in the way, then obviously there’s something wrong with the film, regardless of which bits you like most. I guess I’m saying that the movie would have been better if they’d cut out the bits that X-Files fans want most, and made it a no-baggage psycho-thriller.
August 4th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
I’m sure that, to some, Death Race is something to look forward to to as an experience (in as much as elective skin sanding is looked forward to as an experience). However, Howard, I’ll wait for your unbiased review of the movie. In the meantime, Todd Brown’s review for Twitch provides a little pre-film color: http://twitchfilm.net/site/view/death-race-review/
August 11th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
4). Speed Racer
1000000). Jumper
These two have apparently been swapped after you posted your blog. I’m guessing that Really Awful New Corporate Industry Thugs (R.A.N.C.I.D.) came by and insisted that you contribute to their pet project. SpeedRacer looked like it was outsourced to Mexico to cut labor expenses. Jumper had several interesting merits: The hero behaved in a believably un-PC manner, and Paladins!
August 11th, 2008 at 10:07 pm
No, I have them in the right order. Jumper was made out of suck, and was assembled without the help of the instruction manual, while Speed Racer was lovingly crafted by elves out of refined, uncut, reagent-grade AWESOME.