Your book is in the mail…
Posted October 12th, 2008 by Howard TaylerWe made record time on Thursday. I blame Sandra. She’s a super-competent, incredibly organized slave-driver. Of course some of the blame needs to rest squarely on the burdened, whip-scarred shoulders of her loyal minions. Most of the folks who showed up had helped us with mailings before, and knew the drill.
In the past we’ve started with the big blocks of “easy stuff”: single book, domestic postage. As the day progresses and more volunteers arrive we plow through all of that, and then hit a speed-bump. “Special Handling” orders and more complex orders (two books, one t-shirt, a magnet set) are passed around, and Sandra can’t pass them around fast enough to keep everybody busy.
This time we started with the special orders and the complex stuff. By the time we had our full cadre of shippers-and-handlers (whom we fed and swagged out of the S&H portion of your purchase price) we were just getting to the big stacks of easy stuff, and things just FLEW.
By 3:30 pm on Thursday all orders were in the back of a postal truck. It was a different postman this time. He stopped by at 10:00am to see what he was going to be picking up, and didn’t believe me when I said “about 1200 packages.” He was a believer by his first pickup at 12:45pm.
Speaking of believers, thank you everybody for believing in us enough to send us money months in advance for a product you’ve only seen pictures of. I’m already hearing from people whose orders have arrived (and which have been received with joy.)
I’ve also heard from some folks whose orders were received with a mixture of joy and confusion. Missing magnets, a defective book… that sort of thing. We’ll shoulder full responsibility for making things right if your order does not arrive to your liking. Just email schlockmercenary@gmail.com with your order number and a description of the problem.
Note: It might take a day or two before you hear from us. A rhinoceros rhinovirus is currently trampling the cottage that houses our little cottage industry, and Sandra may be under the proverbial weather for another couple of days. I’m on the rebound… I think. A good night’s sleep (aided by a mixture of acetaminophen and diphenhydramine citrate) will out the truth.
October 12th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
I’m glad to have paid months in advance. The drop in commodity prices has pushed the Australian dollar way down, even though our economy’s in better shape than most of the world. I don’t want to think about what my purchase would have cost if I paid for it now.
October 12th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
I definitely agree with Sam on the plight of the good ole Aussie dollar… If I had to pay for it today instead of months ago, I’m not sure I could convince myself to fork out enough to handle the current exchange rate.
As for paying for a product we’ve only seen pictures of… Well, let’s try and remember that we’ve seen thousands of pictures, comprising 90-95% of the book’s content, and (at least for most of your fans) seen the standard of goods and customer service that were provided for the launch of not one, not two but THREE books already.
Honestly, it’s the sort of transaction that feels better proven than purchasing a lot of goods I can actually hold in my hands before buying.
October 12th, 2008 at 10:25 pm
No, I’m afraid that it’s not. It’s defrosting, ever so gently, in my warm, delighted hands!
Thanks, even if you did wipe the floor with my theory of how to get a high-numbered book!
D.
p.s. @ Sandra: Hi, yourself!
October 13th, 2008 at 12:33 am
Been there, received that, read it.
Squeeeee! I sat down and read it 3.5 seconds after being handed the package by my roommate. :)
Excellent book as always Howard. You production values continue to amaze.
October 13th, 2008 at 2:02 am
Howard, I frankly feel more comfortable paying you months in advance than I do paying some retail stores.
Book isn’t here yet (to my knowledge), but I know it will come, and I know I will love it.
I’m sure a few days delay in responding will be acceptable to folks.
And a benifit of paying months ago? I have no idea what picture I asked for. It’s like a neat surprise!! :)
October 13th, 2008 at 4:29 am
Package arrived. I was surprised, as I hadn’t seen any “your books are shipping” messages… and there my book was! Complete with magnets. :)
Said book has been devoured already.
So, when does the next book come out??
:)
October 13th, 2008 at 6:33 am
I got all four books (I ordered the whole set) Saturday and spent yesterday reading. Definitely worth the wait and the price. Thanks for the herculean efforts to get them all out in one mass mailing.
rhinocerontas non carborundum
(don’t let the rino wear you down)
October 13th, 2008 at 7:08 am
Got the books and magnets. Great stuff!! I’ll second the motion for disclosure of the timetable for the next book!
My younger brother’s taking his set of magnets with him to Iraq when he ships out later this year. I’ll see if we can get him to take some “action shots” of said magnets in inappropriate places while he’s there. His MOS involves the word “nuclear” so I’m sure he’ll know right where to put the magnets.
FWIW, I started chewing Zicam tablets like candy this weekend to fend off the rino… ‘Tis the season.
October 13th, 2008 at 7:14 am
Timetable for the next book… frankly, I don’t know. The work has all been queued up, and it looks like this:
1) Re-color all strips: 100 hours of work
2) Script, pencil, ink, and color 5pp of bonus story: 80 hours work
3) Layout: Not sure. That’s Sandra’s job.
4) Pencil, Ink, and color a cover: 20 hours of work.
So… I’ve got 200 hours of work on my plate, which is five full work-weeks. If I VERY efficiently squeeze it into my regular buffer-fu, I think we’re looking at 12 weeks. But that’s a very optimistic timeline.
Time to get started, I suppose.
October 13th, 2008 at 8:26 am
RE: the virus that’s going around Utah
Howard, make this a mantra at your house (and this goes for *anyone* who even gets the common cold as well) : KEEP YOUR SINUSES DRAINED. A doctor told me this, and he was right. Doing this will keep that virus going out of your system, and will keep things from getting even *worse*.
I used to have chronic bronchitis before being told this. Since then, I’ve yet to have a case of that nasty condition - or anything worse.
And yes, I still have my tonsils. ;)
So when you have to take a break, go pamper Sandra a bit. I’m sure she’ll love the attention. ;)
October 13th, 2008 at 9:24 am
Got mine on Friday, all the way down here the southwestern-most corner of the US (I think I had mine priority mail or something, though). Great book!
October 13th, 2008 at 10:02 am
The excitement countdown commences…
Heck, I’m in the US, and I’d have a lot more trouble justifying a book purchase today than I would have three months ago. (I would have figured out a way anyway… but back then it was easy.)
OK, twenty seconds into the countdown, and I’m excited. Check.
Of course we kick down up front, Howard, you haven’t disappointed us yet in however many years it’s been. Ummm… nope… can’t think of any, not even to crack a joke with.
If DarthReed sends any good photos, inquiring minds will want to know.
October 13th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
@swj719: Giving Howard your money is significantly safer than dropping it in any number of financial institutions. You’re guaranteed a return on your investment that Wall Street can only dream about these days.
@Howard: Kiddo said something like squweeeeeeee!!!!! when I let him touch it for the first time, followed by total silence for just over an hour. MANY thanks!
D.
October 14th, 2008 at 3:31 am
I can’t wait until my order arrives :) All four books heading my way, and a pin of the Toughs to boot!
October 14th, 2008 at 6:24 am
My middle kid is having trouble with reading, but I can always get her to sit still and struggle through a few pages of SM. I help her with the words that are a bit up there, I have even had a few that I have had to look up myself, but we both enjoy the learning. Thanks for that Howard.
If your goal of turning out 4 books next year comes true, remind me to save up a few more vacation days to help with the shipping.
October 15th, 2008 at 12:59 am
The Package Of Entertainment has arrived…. :)
October 15th, 2008 at 1:27 am
Yay! My book arrived safe and sound in England yesterday. Thanks!
October 15th, 2008 at 5:12 am
Is there actually a possibility of tracking a package sent via
“International Priority Mail (insured & tracked)”?
October 15th, 2008 at 5:18 am
The giant mail box of happiness arrived in country NSW today. I’m glad I paid in advance; the AU$ has dropped in value, making the book 25% more valuable now.
Thanks for the Attorney Drone facing down Schlock’s plasgun.
October 15th, 2008 at 6:18 am
@Rackham Not when we do mass mailings like this, no. I’m sorry. We’re looking into providing tracking numbers in the future, but it’s not something we’re currently able to do.
October 15th, 2008 at 6:30 am
@Rackham Actually the answer to that question is yes. I can look up your tracking number, but it involves me flipping through a large stack of paper to find your name. If your package has not arrived within a week, email schlockmercenary at gmail.com and I’ll get your tracking number for you so that you can shake down the post office.
October 15th, 2008 at 8:16 am
This is why we don’t let Howard handle this kinda thing.
You just go back to drawning, bubba. You let the Lady handle the masses. Play to your strengths, you know. ;)
Hope you got my e-mail, Sandra…
The bokk arrived yesterday, and it’s sooooooooo nice.
October 15th, 2008 at 8:19 am
Ohcrap. We sent out another bokk.
Why do we even HAVE those things?
October 15th, 2008 at 11:14 am
@ howard
ok im confused what is a bokk?
hopefully soon i will be able to afford my very own collection of… all the books, a full magnet/ sticky set and the two t-shirts order…
October 15th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
No need to bother for me. The package shouldbe here soon. 4 days extra seems the norm.
October 15th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Funny man…. Funny, funny man…
@Noch
A “bokk” is what happens when I type too fast, and Howard wants to be cute. :)
October 15th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
Obviously a bokk is a chicken-noise. I can only imagine your surprise when you opened a package expecting a book, and instead found a box of bokks.
October 15th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
I’m throwing socks at you next time I see you, Tayler…
:)
October 16th, 2008 at 12:52 am
So when you hear that Cry in the Sky:
“BOKK-A BOKK-A, BOKK-A BOKK-A, BOKK-A BOKK-A BOKK!”
you’ll know that Super Chicken accidentally ordered his books
by the case — again….
:)
[Obscure Cultural Reference: COMPLETE.]
October 16th, 2008 at 2:45 am
Woot. A mere 6 days and my package arrived in pristine condition (hooray for cardboard boxes) here in germany.
Thank you !
October 16th, 2008 at 8:15 am
Man it’s here already! Fastest Taylercorp delivery ever! Now just to find time to pick it up during opening hours…
October 16th, 2008 at 9:44 am
yay, mine got here yesterday. the spine took a slight beating in the mail looks like, but not bad enough to worry about.
Yay Schlock :)
October 17th, 2008 at 11:06 am
@Spockhelp
It’s amazing just how much we are willing to forgive re: Condition of the Book when we know the people who sold it are more than willing to send replacements.
I think that if Tayler Corp. were like 99% of the businesses out there, we’d all demand far more than we do.
But they aren’t. We don’t demand because they already offer.
And that, my friends, is why I love giving them money in exchange for stuff.
October 18th, 2008 at 11:34 am
So I got in a little trouble on Wednesday when the book arrived.
See, I get my books shipped to work as our postal delivery dude has shown willingness to cram anything into our dinky mailbox (he once managed to get a hardcover book in there. Broke the covers to do so…).
So the package arrived and was duly delivered to my desk.
About an hour later my boss looks in and says “That doesn’t look like work…”
Worth every bit of grief I took over it, though. :)
October 19th, 2008 at 5:00 am
And … yay, my copy arrived friday and was picked up yesterday (curse you working 8-5!), and was read with much chuckling.
October 21st, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Spotted a bit of a typo in the page layout on the book. Odd pages 67 to 87 are labeled as “The Teraport Wars Part II: Kicking etc.”, when they should be labeled as “Part I” as the even pages actually are.
October 22nd, 2008 at 7:54 am
The books have even started arriving in norway by now. Always a pleasure to reread Schlock.
October 22nd, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Rackham: Good catch. Thanks for letting us know so we can fix the book when we reprint.
October 25th, 2008 at 12:38 am
I was just looking at this yesterday morning and thinking “where’s my book got to?” and as if by magic, the parcel-post chap arrived to deliver it about an hour later. Perfect condition, the latest cardboard mailer things are great. Well done the Taylers!