Blógünder Schlock

I was clearing out our storage area, trying to make the job of shipping Schlock Merchandise run more smoothly, and I found a hidden treasure. There was a stack of numbered sketch editions of The Blackness Between. I had held them against damaged or missing packages and then they got forgotten. It seems a shame to let these books gather dust when I know there are Schlock fans who would love to have them, so we’re offering them for auction. There are 9 books with sketches of Breya and 15 books with sketches of Ennesby. The starting price on all the books is $25.

If the price of the sketched books goes too high, you can always go to our store to buy a book. The books in our store will not be sketched, but they all have a shiny autograph on the cover. We also have a t-shirt and a poster.

It’s a good thing I was alone in my office at the time, because when Melissa M. Smith emailed me pictures of her plastiline sculpture of Sergeant Schlock on a quarter, I went “SQUEEEE!” It was perfect!

She showed up at the Keep a couple of months later to show it to me in person, and I pointed out that Drew Olds (the guy who taught me how to paint minis) had some liquid latex that would work for pouring a mold, as well as some resin that would work for casting.

We cast exactly three of the things. The first went to Drew, the second to Melissa, and the third to me. You’re looking at the one Drew painted. The one Melissa painted is in the glass cabinet at Dragon’s Keep. Mine is unpainted, and I think I’ve misplaced it. That’s okay… by the third casting the mold was already starting to tear.

Janci Patterson (now Olds, congratulations you two!) took pictures of Drew’s paint job, and the piece appeared in Schlock Mercenary: The Tub of Happiness.

Now that group effort is up for auction. Drew, Melissa, and I are splitting the proceeds three ways, with the rounded penny going to Drew.

If you like having other people paint things for you, I cannot personally recommend anybody as highly as I can recommend Drew Olds. Have a look at his stuff over at Garden Ninja Painting Studio (www.gardenninja.com)and you’ll see what I mean.

Funny story: I was listening to some OCRemix tunes, and one of them was a remix from Ninja Gaiden. Never having played the game, I kept misreading it as “Ninja Garden.” I mused aloud on this, and Drew and I began wondering what a Ninja Garden was. Obviously, it’s a plot of land in which all of the kitschy garden gnomes have been ganked from behind by garden ninjas.

Drew registered the domain name about 15 minutes later.

Go check out the auction!

I drew this at A-Kon, if I recall correctly. Several months ago we auctioned off the original. If you’ve got a copy of Schlock Mercenary: The Tub of Happiness you know that this picture is on p. 239, the last illustrated page (well… unless you paid to have me illustrate the blank page that follows…)

By permission of the owner of the original, we did a run of 50 prints as “thank you” gifts for people who helped out at the Tub of Happiness ship-fest. The remaining 25 are up for auction now.

Per my last post, I had Sandra dig through the boneyard, and she came up with some neat things to auction off. Let’s start with the cover art!

This is the “crowd scene” portion of the cover art from Schlock Mercenary: The Tub of Happiness, which was assembled in pieces. It is ink on bristol, and measures 11″ high by 14″ wide.

Next up, the back-cover bit!

It’s a diamond beetle! It is happy to see people charging it. Sadly, they’re on a different piece of paper. Still, this is a great collector’s piece for anybody who has the book. It is also ink on bristol, and measures 9″x12″.

For these last two I’ll let you click on the auction links in order to see the pictures. We have an Angry Under-The-Sink Disposal Unit (from Tub of Happiness) and Cthulhu Checks The Queen (from The Blackness Between,) both of which are pencil-only pieces.

Happy bidding, and may the deepest pockets win!

We got our advance copies of Schlock Mercenary: The Tub of Happiness on Thursday, and one of them is up for grabs. This will be the very first of the numbered sketch editions, #0001/1234, and the winner of the auction gets to pick the character that goes in the back. The winner will also be handling the book a month before pretty much everybody else.

Oh, hey… as long as you’re noodling around on eBay, there are four more auctions up right now. These are the “Sandra wants a Christmas-shopping budget” auctions. Money is a little tight right now. (Somebody waited too long before getting his next book out, or so I’m told.)

So… for your bidding pleasure, the Tayler Corporation (plotting to take over the world since 1998) proudly presents “Thooom!“, “Schlock and his Plasgun,” “Tagon,” and “Schlock Shoots an Attorney Drone.”

That last auction in the list, the one with the attorney drone in it? Yeah, that’s also the last picture you’ll find in Schlock Mercenary: The Tub of Happiness (unless you get a sketch on the page after it.) You can still pre-order copies of that book (though not with sketches), and the price is still a discounted $20 +s&h. In about three or four weeks, when the books have arrived and we’re beginning the process of getting them shipped out, the price will go up to $25.00

I have a couple of friends in need of help, so I’m helping them sell their stuff. It’s pretty cool stuff, too.

The first auction is for my friend Rodney (you can find his name in the back of The Blackness Between, in the acknowledgements.) We are auctioning his Cingular 8525 Pocket PC, which he doesn’t need after getting laid off. Rodney has (and I am NOT making this up) ten adopted children from around the world, and is in that rough patch between jobs where every dollar helps.

The second is for Tub of Happiness guest-artist Karen. She, too, was recently laid off, and is auctioning the piece she did for the book.

Please have a look at both of these eBay items, and bid if you’re interested. Rodney and Karen have each helped me out, and I want to be able to do something for them in return.

Howard departed for comic con on Monday morning. According to telephone reports, he had a wonderful time relaxing with fans in Vegas. Then yesterday he drove to San Diego and worked setting up a booth display until he was ready to drop. When I talked to him last night he was both exhausted and discouraged. Things will probably be better today, but he won’t relax until he’s sure that we’ve brought in enough money to cover expenses. He won’t be happy until we’ve made enough money that I’ll allow him to spend some of it at the New Rock Boots store in Vegas on the way home. Howard’s beloved first pair of New Rock boots recently broke in a way that can’t be fixed. These boots have been, and will continue to be mourned, although he assures me that buying a new pair would greatly alleviate the grief.

So if you’re at Comic Con stop by Howard’s booth #1330 and buy a pin or a ribbon or a book to contribute to Howard’s Boot Fund.

If you are not at Comic Con, you can buy a book at our online store.

If you haven’t already purchased the hilarious Schlock Mercenary Strohl Munitions Plasma Cannon Safety Activity Book, that will also help.

If you have something that you would like to advertise to 35,000 Schlock fans, you can bid on the Project Wonderful advertising box to the right. Simply click the link below the ad to get started.

We also have three auctions running on ebay this week. I’ve selected three pieces of marker art that were created as bonus materials for Under New Management. We’re selling images of Jevee, Breya, and Kevyn. Just click the names to see the auctions and bid.

Buy because you want the Schlock, or do it for the boots.

When Sandra and I decided to sell books online we also decided to provide the best customer service we could. This means that if your book shows up damaged, or not at all, or if there’s anything at all wrong with your order, we’ll make it right.

We’ve sent out a lot of replacement books, but we don’t worry about the cost, because we know that it would be far more expensive to lose a the trust of our readers and friends.

A while back a sketch edition for The Blackness Between got bent in the mail, and we sent out a replacement when we heard about it. The customer in question objected at first, saying that the book could be easily bent back — it just needed time to sit under a large-print edition of the Physicians Desk Reference.

Well, it sat, pressing, and today I’m told it’s good as new. So now there’s this happy Schlocker out there with TWO sketch editions, but who paid for only one.

Said Schlocker is so happy he’s decided to auction off the extra book and donate the proceeds to me.

I figure most of you who want sketch editions already have ‘em, but just in case you don’t, here’s a chance to get one.

If you’re running a business of your own (or managing a business for somebody else) the lesson here is clear: good customer service pays for itself, one way or another.

Okay, y’all proved me beyond wrong. The “I got paid three times” piece is selling for well over 99 cents, which shows that there’s either no accounting for taste, or I’m not as smart as I think I am.

Likely it’s both.

The complete list of auctions is here. Six of them close Monday morning, and another six close on Tuesday evening.

If you liked this little celebration of capitalism, Kayuda and I may get together and do something like it again (only with a twist). In the meantime, please give Kayuda.com a visit, and check out their nifty, wiki-esque mindmapping tool. It’s free!

If the six auctions that opened Monday morning aren’t what you’re looking for, here are six more, again sponsored by Wotan LLC as part of their Kayuda launch. Kayuda is a web-based visual wiki, a mind-mapping tool, and a non-linear writing tool that allows you to track ideas and the relationships between them.

As I said on Monday, Wotan purchased these pieces from me, and then told me to auction them off and keep the proceeds. So there it is, I got paid twice. But wait… all of these but one (I bet you can guess which) appear in Schlock Mercenary books, so I already got paid once for the artwork.

I am SO doing the happy-dance.

I’ve been using Kayuda to help me organize some of my story notes, and I like it. I think you’ll like it too, especially since you can try it out for free. I don’t usually say “please support our sponsors,” but the Kayuda team has been very generous with this campaign, and I’d love to see them get lots of attention as a result.

Here is a list of the auctions that opened Tuesday evening:

• Haban

• Tchukk

• Tagon’s Signals

• Andy

• The Blackness Between Cover Art

• Howard’s Happy Dance

I’ll understand if the bidding on “Howard’s Happy Dance” stays down around $0.99. I drew that one just for this campaign at the express request (read that “contractual demand”) of the sponsor. The Cover Art auction is a different story: It includes all three inked pieces I used to assemble the cover, and this is the first time I’ve made something like that available.

Go check out the auctions (here’s the full list), and give Kayuda a try too.