Blógünder Schlock

Okay, I’m heads-down on book work, but no matter how fast I get this thing done, it’s not going to be shippable to you until (*gasp*) AUGUST.

In related news, we’ll be cash-strapped starting sometime in June.

This is okay. Ad revenue and other merchandise sales can pick up the slack during those months. Of critical importance, however, is the RIGHT merchandise.

I’ve found a good color printer for shirts. The quality is top-notch, and even with multiple hot-water bleach washings the test image has only faded a tiny bit (and you’ll be washing WITHOUT bleach in COLD water because you’re not complete idiots, right?)

But… heads-down on book work means less time for new merchandise creation, which in turn means recycling images wherever possible. Are you interested in Rule 37 white t-shirts? What about (drumroll…) Rule 37 white mouse-pads? The prices would be around $20 for the shirts (we might be able to get ringer tees for that price) and around $6.00 for mousepads.

Are there other images you’d like to see on merchandise? Ideally, they’d be images you know I already have — you know, like marker art from previous books, strip art, etc. Feel free to dump suggestions in the comments thread. We’ll likely do a run of SOMETHING starting next week. The children are getting hungry…

I was clearing out our storage area, trying to make the job of shipping Schlock Merchandise run more smoothly, and I found a hidden treasure. There was a stack of numbered sketch editions of The Blackness Between. I had held them against damaged or missing packages and then they got forgotten. It seems a shame to let these books gather dust when I know there are Schlock fans who would love to have them, so we’re offering them for auction. There are 9 books with sketches of Breya and 15 books with sketches of Ennesby. The starting price on all the books is $25.

If the price of the sketched books goes too high, you can always go to our store to buy a book. The books in our store will not be sketched, but they all have a shiny autograph on the cover. We also have a t-shirt and a poster.

Okay, I love Michael Z. Williamson’s heroes. They’re tough, they’re flawed, and when they break stuff it stays broke. When I saw that the title of his latest was Better to Beg Forgiveness I figured I was in for a great ride.

I was right.

But before I gush: I don’t like Kurt Miller’s cover. I feel bad, because the artist in me knows he put a lot of time getting it to look just like he wanted it to. The art-critic in me is willing to concede that it’s probably a style thing. I’m a fan of the old-school Science Fiction and Fantasy pulp covers. Give me a Whelan, a Frazetta, or a Vallejo cover and I’m happy. Sadly, this means that many of the current Baen covers don’t work for me.

But I know better than to judge a book by its cover.

The story follows a team of contract bodyguards (read: mercenaries) whose job it is to protect the newly elected and unpopular president of some backwater world. As the story unfolds it becomes apparent that about the only people who want their client in good health are them and their client.

Mike’s politics are a little more subtle in this book. We return to the universe of Freehold, but this book takes place well before the events in that one (anywhere from ten to a hundred years, if I’m any judge of these things.) Grainne appears in the story, but we’re spared the tour of this utopian version of libertarian meritocracy.

The politics are only a little more subtle, however. If you look carefully at some of the characters in the background you’ll find parodies of some prominent media figures as well as a few left-leaning US politicians. Still, the politics are believable. People and organizations are corrupted by power, and garden-variety stupid springs up everywhere.

I had a great time reading the book. The first half swung in and out of the action-and-peril sequences very naturally, but as the tension and intrigue built I found I was waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop. The other shoe, it turns out, is a size 11 boot to the base of the spine. It’s quite the kick in the pants. From there, the book is pretty much non-stop action all the way to the big finish. I stayed up too late reading, and had my dreams punctuated with small arms fire and the occasional bit of HE demolition work.

The shipping of Schlock Mercenary: The Tub Of Happiness was without question the most ambitious of our little undertakings yet. Our home has yet to settle back into some sort of normalcy, and my hand is still not up to any sort of marathon pencilling and inking.

But we’re happy. We continue to receive happy reports of books arriving on time and in good condition. We’ve shipped a few replacements, and fixed a few mis-packed orders, but it hasn’t been a burden at all. We have funds sufficient to carry the family through April*, and that means that I can relax just a little and enjoy the holiday.

Okay, I do need to crank out an extra week of comics this week to make up for one of the two I lost, and I’m going to have to push out the usual seven days’ worth next week, too, but none of that precludes me actually relaxing for a spell. Like maybe this coming Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. (And perhaps Saturday. Oh, and if I work really hard on Wednesday, I can maybe, MAYBE take Thursday and Friday off.)

My friend Jay told me that when you work for yourself you only have to put in half-days. That, and you get to pick which twelve hours you’re at work.

Thank you for all your support. If I’m going to work twelve-hour days the week before Christmas, I might as well be doing something I love for people I like (and for about 40,000 people I’ve never met, but would almost certainly like if I did meet them…)

*Note: Come April I either need to be prepared to sell you all another book, or cough up a winning lottery ticket.

Many are still mourning the passing of Robert Jordan. Friday’s news is going to bring a mixture of hope and concern: Brandon Sanderson, one of TOR’s rising stars, has been tapped to complete the final volume of Jordan’s multi-volume epic The Wheel of Time. Here’s the official press release.

Brandon Sanderson is a friend of mine, and is one of the local pros I see at events in the area. He and his wife Emily were over at my place just a couple of months back for dinner. I was flattered to be in something of an advisory position as we discussed “how do you make room for your family and your art.” Sandra had lots of advice for Emily — including some comforting tips on “what to expect when the baby arrives.”

When I heard that Brandon had been tapped to finish The Wheel of Time I was elated. Not only is this a huge thing for my friend’s career, it’s also a really, really good thing for Wheel fans. Brandon knows how to work a mythos, and though he’s a fairly new author, he’s got the chops to tackle big projects like this. He’s a Jordan fan himself, and he’ll be working from extensive notes, drafts, and audio-recordings left behind by Jordan. Harriet Popham Rigney, Jordan’s widow and editor, hand-picked Brandon for this, and of all the people most likely to make the right decision, she certainly tops the list.

Jordan fans who want to know what Brandon can do should check out Elantris. As should anybody looking for a good Fantasy book to dive into over the holidays.

Some of you have asked what 10,000 pounds of books looks like.

Here is a photo of 9,700 pounds of books.

The remaining 300 or so pounds of books are in a short pallet in the driveway awaiting transfer by the one-hundred-and-mmumblemumble pound blond in the upper-left corner.

Here is a photo of one of the open boxes of books.

My first job is to sign a bunch of these (read: more than a ton) on the cover. Sandra’s job is pictured below:

She will use stamp A and blotter-sheet B to ready a book from stack C for sketching. The blotter sheets are labeled, so I know which sketch needs to go in the book.

These books are then re-boxed over at D. Right now D stands for Drone — we’ve got 57 books prepped for me to create Attorney Drone sketch editions.

Once I sketch in a book, I write the number in the blank over the #1234, forever cementing this sketch edition as a numbered one.

With luck I’ll start doing Attorney Drones and Kevyns tonight. Regardless of which ones I finish, we’re not shipping anything until a week from Thursday.

And don’t forget: You still have until Monday morning to get in on the $20 pre-order price!

Schlock Mercenary: The Tub Of Happiness has crossed the Bounding Main and the Great American Desert, and is due to arrive in My Driveway sometime tomorrow.

Be apprised: the arrival of four-point-six-eight tonnes of printed material in my driveway is not the same thing as “I’m shipping your book now.” Here is the schedule for the next two weeks:

• Tuesday: shift 3000 books to a storage unit. Break 2000 books out of cartons and begin signing.
• Wednesday through Friday: Bang out a half-ton of sketch editions.
• Saturday & Sunday: Ice my hand. Take the weekend off.
• Monday, December 3rd: Pre-orders officially close.
• Monday through Wednesday: Finish sketch editions.
• Thursday and Friday: Sketched and signed books are boxed and mailed all over the world.*
• Saturday: Release Party at Dragons Keep. If you’re picking your book up in person, that’s the place.

So… if you’ve been wondering where your book is, now you know. It should ship out no later than one week from this coming Friday.

If you’ve been holding off on pre-ordering, don’t wait any longer. The $20 price-tag jumps to $25 on Monday morning, December 3rd, and no non-pre-ordered books will ship until December 12th. You can pre-order Schlock Mercenary: The Tub of Happiness right here.

*Note: This is the official call for volunteers for the shipping party. We’re shipping out of Dragons Keep again. Email schlockmercenary at gmail.com for details.

If you’ve got an eBook subscription over at Baen, then you may have already read Manxome Foe by John Ringo and Travis S. Taylor. If not, then you’ll have to subscribe, or wait until it comes out in hardback in February of ‘08.

Either way, the “enemy of my enemy” rule gets mentioned in Chapter 13. Apparently I will finally get around to publishing Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates (and all the concomitant rules), because Lt. Fey is familiar with the book.

I will be at Small Press Expo in Bethesda, Maryland this coming Friday and Saturday. If you’ve been looking for the chance to get your hands on a copy of Under New Management or The Blackness Between, or if you’ve already got a copy and want me to deface it for you, this would be a great place to do it.

As promised, I’ll also be accepted pre-orders for The Tub of Happiness, including numbered customer-choice Sketch Editions. That’s right, if you haven’t placed an order for a sketched Tub yet, Small Press Expo is your last chance.

I’ll also be available for sketches and commissions, though there isn’t much time at this event for me to tackle anything really complex. I draw in books for free, and whip out 30-second pencil sketches for the same, low price. If you want something more (like a nice inked-and-colored original picture of Schlock) it’ll set you back between $25 and $50, depending on what you’re looking for.

I’ll be at the Blank Label Comics booth, which is in section D, tables 12a through 14. Click on the map below for a closer look.

Sandra again,

We have achieved Howard’s goal. He will have to sketch over one ton of books in order to fill all of the orders. We’ll have an exact count and break down of which character sketches were most popular by next week.

Many thanks to everyone who ordered.

Don’t forget that while the ordering for sketched editions is now closed, you can still order The Tub of Happiness along with the other two books.