Blógünder Schlock

I skipped out on Penguicon this year (it’s my favorite out-of-state convention), and it’s probably a good thing. All of Tuesday night was spent making trips to the bathroom to shout at the porcelain, and while this sort of thing usually kills a day or two, I was still running a fever and losing precious sleep Friday night, and stumbling around all achey like a zombie on a no-brains diet on Saturday.

Penguiconners, I missed you this weekend, and for this you should be thankful. Whatever I’ve got, you don’t want.

I colored two pages of Bonus Story before falling ill, and then, in spite of the illin’ an’ chillin’, I actually managed to bang out a week of comics on Friday and Saturday. They’ll probably need touch-ups when Smart Howard checks back in for work Monday, but most of the heavy lifting is done.

I know, I know… the buffer is supposed to give me time off for sickness, but with book deadlines crushing me, and conventions coming in May (Hello, Leprecon!) I really don’t want to lose a week just because the new entrees from Panda Express thought so much of themselves they demanded I taste them twice.

When I called my friend Bob Defendi to let him know I couldn’t join his game Wednesday night, I told him I probably wouldn’t be eating at Panda for a looong time to come. “The taste of chinese food on the way back up is one of those memories that just won’t let go,” I said. Bob told me that would be a great first line for a book. It made me laugh, but laughing still hurt a lot.

Sorry for the huge quantities of “Too Much Information.” I’m sure you’ll agree (to complete the song lyric in the title of this post,) “these are the things we can do without.”

Schlocker Joe C. sent me a link to this YouTube video. Apparently whoever put together this music video slideshow for Weird Al’s “Achey Breaky Song” is a Schlock fan. Or did a Google image search. Not sure which.

Enjoy.

Many of you may have already heard that Terry Pratchett has been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers.

In his own words, he “still aten’t dead.” Still, it’s a shock, and Discworld fans are bracing themselves for the same sort of world-ending upset that Jordan fans experienced earlier this year.

Enter my younger brother, who is at once funnier and less inhibited than I am. He drew this comparison…

(I apologize sincerely to any who might take offense. Randy and I are no strangers to tragedy, and we choose to laugh in defense of our sanity. Pratchett’s work is so close to our hearts that the man feels like a family friend. Unfortunately for him, by our twisted Tayler Family Logic that means we’re required to make morbid jokes at his expense.)

David Willis has done a PDF coloring book for Shortpacked!, and it’s hilarious. It’s available for a Paypal donation of any size, and while it’s not something I’d give to my kids, neither is my Shortpacked! Brings Back The Eighties collection. I would prefer to NOT have Mike telling my kids things about their mom.

I created the Strohl Munitions Plasma Cannon Safety Activity Book this June to celebrate 7 years of non-stop Schlock. Yeah, David is copying me, but he has my blessing. Sincerity is just imitation flattery, or however that is supposed to go. I know there’s sincere imitation in it SOMEWHERE.

Help David have a happy, well-fed Thanksgiving. And find out what Mike thinks of your Mom.

It was January 2001 when Greg Dean “discovered” Schlock Mercenary and linked to it. I remember that month well — my traffic more than doubled, and stayed doubled. A portion of my ancient core following is made up of loyal Real Life fans.

It was eight years ago last week that Greg first started putting Real Life on the web. I’ve only been reading it for about six of those years, but I’ve been reading it regularly.

In a few weeks he hits strip #2000. I have no idea what he’s got planned, so I’m being careful not to talk it up too much lest I set your expectations too high… but there’s a rumor* that all his readers will be getting cash money via email if they forward the strip to Bill Gates and Steve Jobs.

(*Note: I started the rumor)

Yesterday’s Insectpod.com deserves a read.

Then read today’s. Yeeek!

My long-time friend David Brady likes bugs. He also has a camera that will let him take really, really cool pictures of bugs. Like this one:

I swear, she looks like a battle-weathered mecha.

Anyway, Dave has been putting up bug pictures every day for the last two months at www.insectpod.com. If you like learning about bugs and creepy-crawlies, you could do worse. If you’re an expert, you will probably enjoy correcting him from time to time.

Do be careful, though. Dave has been known to gloss over some ugly truths here and there.