Blógünder Schlock

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I’m recoloring all 234 rows of comics that go into Schlock Mercenary: Out From Under so that the book looks better.

From time to time I question the wisdom of this. I don’t know that it will result in extra sales, and even if it does I suspect that they fall beyond the point of diminishing returns. The bean-counter in me says the strips are good enough as-is, and I should get over it.

Then I come across a row like the one below.

My “touch-ups” make it look more like this.

And I feel justified in my work. I’m not changing the line art (well… not much. A few lines, here and there, but only the very worst offenders) but the depth that I’m getting from simple gradient fills and cel-shading is adding a lot to the project.

I hope you all like it. I only have 152 rows left out of 234. I’m 35% done!

I haven’t mentioned it in weeks, but that doesn’t mean the Schlock Mercenary RSS feed has gone away. Au contraire! It is alive, well, and being fed some 2,300 times per day. There is also a separate feed for this blog, which is unsurprisingly not nearly so popular. It tops out at around 72.

Other RSS-ish things that you don’t need RSS to get: Writing Excuses is now into Season 2, and Episode 6 is up! Join us for a discussion on “Endings” and get a sneak peek into the process I used to tighten up the impending climactic ending for Book 10 — Schlock Mercenary: The Longshoreman of the Apocalypse.

Finally, don’t forget that we’re running a “free shipping anywhere on the planet” sale at store.schlockmercenary.com. All you have to do is spend $100 or more with us. Forget 700-billion-dollar stimulus packages. I can get stimulated with a C-note and a shipping address.

(Note: please do not take that last sentence out of context.)

Schlock Mercenary: Out From Under is the title of the next book in the series. For purposes of folder naming, product codes, and the like, that name is reduced to the acronym “OFU.”

I’m sure you can think of impolite things to spell with that acronym. Please don’t, though. Just think of it as “UFO” backwards, okay?

Progress on OFU is proceeding behind the desired schedule. Here’s the timeline: once we finish laying the book out, it takes about three months to get product into your hands.

That doesn’t sound much like a schedule, does it? Here’s some more detail. I need to script, pencil, ink, and color about five pages of Bonus Story. I also need to re-color or touch up all 235 image files for the book’s content. Finally, I need to create about 20 pieces of margin art and maybe half that many new footnotes. Oh. And a cover. I need to create a cover.

That’s still not a schedule. That’s a task list.

I think I can get all that work done in three months, including the month of November. This means that product should, theoretically, be shipping sometime in late April or early May.

Right now I’ve got 61 of the 234 strip images re-colored. I’ve done no work on the Bonus Story, margin art, new footnotes, or the cover. But I’m working on whittling that list down a little bit every day, and I think I can knock everything down by the end of January, provided I stick with it.

At that point I’ll need to begin work on Schlock Mercenary: Mad Science Means Never Having To Ask ‘What’s The Worst Thing That Could Happen?’ That book will likely need a shorter, snappier title. But that’s a problem for the dead of winter…

When I consider the sacrifices of the men and women who serve or have served in the United States Armed Forces I question my worthiness. It is to them I speak right now.

You fought for me long before I was born. You fight today, that I might not have to. You disciplined yourselves, obeyed orders, and faced your worst fears that I might be an undisciplined, disobedient coward.

I hide in my basement and write comic strips. You walk down the middle of the street in clothing that screams “target.” I pay for my mistakes by getting occasional hate-mail. You pay for everybody’s mistakes with your blood. In a world where it is increasingly unpopular to be an American you wear a flag on your shoulder when you go abroad, while I lounge comfortably behind the borders you and your brothers across the generations have secured.

I am humbled to find servicemen and women reading and enjoying Schlock Mercenary. Sometimes I am asked whether I have ever served in the military. I never have. I considered it briefly, but I was afraid. You, however, were not afraid. Or if you were, you were also wise enough to know that fear is a thing to be faced, and it is the one thing that MUST be faced before you can face anything else.

It has taken me twenty years to learn that lesson. You bought those twenty years for me, affording me the opportunity to learn about courage while comfortable.

When I consider your many sacrifices I find myself unworthy of them. But I accept them with gratitude, and applaud you with a sense of awe. Thank you for doing what I cannot.

You amaze me.

We’re having a sale at the Schlock Mercenary store. If you spend $100 with us we’ll ship your stuff to you at no charge, no matter where in the world you are.

Many of you residing in Europe, Australia, and New Zealand have justly complained about the high shipping costs. Until now we’ve had no way to address this, short of losing money. But now, with five books in inventory, along with magnets, pins, shirts, and posters, we can go out on a limb and cut into our profits a bit.

How do you want to spend $100? Well… the first four Schlock Mercenary books come to $80. Add the full set of warning-sign magnets for $20 and you’ve got yourself a fanboy (or fangirl) dream-package, and we’ll ship it to you for free.

Chief among the wonderful things you can buy is Hold On To Your Horses, by Sandra “Not Just The Cartoonist’s Wife” Tayler and Angela Call. This lavishly illustrated book will make a delightful holiday gift for that small, hyperactive, pony-loving person in your life. Niece? Cousin? Daughter? Impulse-control issues? Book her.

We’ve accumulated a few scratch-and-dent Schlock books as well. These are going for roughly 1/3 off. $10 for the $15 books, and $18 for the $25 books. They’re in exceedingly short supply, though (less than 20 of each.)

Finally, we’ve got Writing Excuses CDs for you. Just $10 gets you the complete first season, nine hours of DRM-free podcasts on writing, plotting, editing, re-writing, and letting your characters run away with your story. There’s a lot of bonus material as well, including three essays, an entire book, and a pile of desktop wallpapers.

Supplies for this sale are slightly limited. We only have 150 magnet sets left, and once we’re out we’re not going to be able to get more before the holidays are upon us. We have a mere 100 Writing Excuses CDs on the way, but if we run out I think we can get more quickly. Oh, and we’re also down to our last 800 copies of Under New Management, though I doubt we’ll sell out.

Feel free to prove me wrong, though. You maniacs.

We’re running this sale through December 31st. If you want things in time for Christmas, and they need to cross an ocean to get to you, you should place your order by November 24th.

In other news, I’ve incremented my post count by two in less than ten minutes.

I’ll be posting an updated strip in about 20 minutes. Sorry!

Gunther van Hagens’ “Body Worlds 3″ exhibit is in Salt Lake City for the next couple of months. I took it in with Sandra Thursday morning.

Wow.

We bought the (very thick!) book in the Leonardo Museum gift shop afterwards. I’m sure that after I’ve read it I’ll be able to tell you all kinds of interesting things about the exhibit that I was unable to learn in person.

My favorite part… I was admiring the unraveled length of digestive tract, and there were three high-school girls standing next to me. One of them said “Weird. It looks like sausage.”

Me: “That’s because that’s how they make sausage.”

Her: “What?”

Me: “Sausage. They take a length of sheep’s intestine, stuff it with ground meat, and twist it off every six inches or so.”

Her friend: “Didn’t you KNOW that?”

Her: “No…” She grimaces, obviously torn. “I LIKE sausage.”

Me: “People who like sausage shouldn’t learn how it’s made.”

A friend blogged saying he feels like the 21st century officially began today.

I feel much differently. The 21st century began when I started webcartooning. That’s perspective for you.

Thank you for your votes, and for your contributions. I’m not sure what prompts people to spend $5, $10, or $25 on a desktop wallpaper, but I suspect it isn’t the quality of the wallpaper. Why, the wallpaper called me at 11:00pm and conceded the contest to the “Plot and Blam” ticket.

Aaaand that’s about it for political humor here. I’ve got lots of deep sociopolitical and economic thoughts, but this isn’t the post for them. This is a time to be happy that twenty-one months of campaigning is over.

Let’s get on with being nice to one another, shall we?

It has been said that in a democracy the voters get the government they deserve. Ah, aphorisms. So touching, so simplistic…

Still, if you want something to happen, vote for it. If you want something to not happen, vote against it. Vote your conscience. Vote your inspiration. Vote your ideals. Vote your hopes, your dreams, and your passions.

Don’t let the big picture scare you. Act locally, and vote for wise people with integrity on your city and county councils. Vote courageously. Vote out of the love for your neighbors, community, and nation, not out of the fear nor hate you’ve been shown in campaign ads. And don’t forget that you’re voting for people, rather than those aggregate monsters of compromise we call “parties.”

Yes, this timely public service announcement mostly applies to citizens of these great United States of America. Netizens from other great nations looking for something positive to do today need look no further than the button under Tuesday’s strip. Because you know that donating to your favorite webcomic is also a vote of sorts. You’re saying “keep on doing it,” and rest assured, I will. I’m not sure you’re going to get the comic you deserve (because someone as generous, wise, and tasteful as yourself must be very, very deserving), but I’ll keep working hard to make it the best comic I can.

Just as soon as I’m done voting.