Blógünder Schlock

Per my last shout, I’m in Arizona this weekend at Leprecon 34. If you’re in the neighborhood, come on by and get your geek on. These local SF/F conventions are my very favorite kinds of events for a reason — they’re FUN.

The complete convention schedule PDF can be found here. I’ve excerpted the Howard Tayler bits below:

THURSDAY

• Fly to Phoenix. Drive to Casa Grande. Eat. See sights. Miss my regular Thursday RPG. THIS IS A HUGE SACRIFICE, PEOPLE.

FRIDAY

• 4:30pm - GoH Dinner: meet in the Hotel Lobby for the Guest of Honor Dinner with Howard and the other GoHs.
• 8:30pm - Palo Verde Room: Sci-047 - “Will Space Colonies Be Like Hippy Communes or Military Bases?” (Howard Tayler, Emily and Ernie Hogan, Hugh S. Gregory, Wolf Forrest, Mike Wilmoth, G. David Nordley)
• ALSO at 8:30pm - Art Show Walkthrough with the Guests of Honor… I may start my leg of the tour an hour late, since this covers a two-hour block.

SATURDAY

• 1:00pm - Mesquite Room: Lit 004 - “You Don’t Have To Be An Expert to Write About It, But You Do Have To Do Research” (Howard Tayler, Emily and Ernie Hogan, Adam Niswander)
• 2:30pm - Mesquite: Lep 003 - “Meet Howard Tayler” (My “Guest of Honor” Panel… here’s where you can ask me all those Schlock-specific questions and expect me not to deflect them for being off-topic.
• 4:00pm - Palo Verde: Lit 003 - “You’ve Made The World, Now You’ve Got To Write In It” (Howard Tayler, Hugh S. Gregory, Adam Niswander)
• 8:30pm - Boardroom: Lit 005 - “Web Publishing and The Free Content Business Model” (Howard Tayler, Emily and Ernie Hogan)
• 10:00pm - Palo Verde: Lit 006 - “Writing Believable Characters” (Howard Tayler)

SUNDAY

• 2:30pm - Mesquite: Lit 007 - “Space Opera vs Military Fiction: Is There A Difference?” (Howard Tayler, Bennie Grezlik, Kit Townsend)

MONDAY

• Fly home, take a half-day off. Maybe paint some minis.

I can’t tell you exactly when I’ll be sitting down and doing signings and sketchings, but I’m sure that’ll happen at some point every day of the convention. I probably won’t have time for complex commissions, but I’m bringing my markers with me, so hope springs eternal. I’m ALSO bringing the complete (though not completely COLORED) Teraport Wars bonus story with me, should you feel inclined to read it and spoil it for yourself three months in advance of publication of the book.

I won’t have the new T-shirts or mousepads with me. Those aren’t being printed until next week. Sorry!

If you’re in Arizona, this weekend come see me at Leprecon 34, Arizona’s science fiction and fantasy convention. It’s being held at the gorgeous Francisco Grande Resort in the lovely desert hamlet of Casa Grande. I’ll have books, pins, shirts, and maybe even some of the new shirts and mousepads.

I’ll also be on a number of panels, answering Schlockiverse questions, and discussing a wide range of topics of interest to science fiction fans everywhere. You’ve heard me on Writing Excuses… now you can hear me in person, and try to stump me with your own questions. Ask whatever you like!

(Note: There are plenty of panels to attend, whether or not I’m on them. Check out the Leprecon 34 Programming Schedule here in PDF format.)

I’m bringing my markers, so I’ll probably be able to bang out a few commissions, and I’ll definitely be able to throw down lots of free sketches. Don’t miss this chance to have me deface your Schlock book, or doodle in your sketchbook.

This week’s Writing Excuses features Stacy Whitman, as well as a healthy helping of “no Howard.” If you’re interested in getting your writing published “Submitting to Editors Part 2” is a must-listen (though you should also must-listen to last week’s as well.)

In this podcast Stacy, Dan, and Brandon cover how to approach editors at cons, how to inquire about work you’ve already submitted, and how to butter editors up by asking about their current projects.

Free Comic Book Day at Dragons Keep is always fun, and this year we had a great ensemble of talent. Chad, Mandy, Kevin, JJ, Dave and I had a good time talking, sketching, and committing commerce. Spider-Man himself dropped by for a bit (he even signed a few comics as “Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man”).

My only complaint… Smart Howard never even checked into the building. I did a bunch of sketches, but didn’t have the brain space to tackle anything complex. Chad, meanwhile, knocked down some GORGEOUS sketch cards, inked AND colored. It was pretty humbling.

A couple of interesting merchandise ideas reared their heads. The most amusing: Schlock cross-stitch patterns. They’d be cheap as nothing to print, but kind of a pain to design. Question: would YOU pay $10 for a nice cross-stitch pattern (you stitch it yourself) of one of the SHoHEPirates Rules with an illustration?

Following the event, Kevin Wasden, Chad Hardin and I went out to eat, and I ate too much. Good friends, good conversation, good sushi, good times…

For the longest time these were “convention-only” goodies. Now, however, Sandra is prepared to ship all kinds of shapes and sizes of things besides just books, so we’re putting the Tagon Logo Pins in the store.

These solid metal pins add a measure of authority to whichever fishing hat, convention vest, or legionnaire sash they may adorn. And we know those particular articles need whatever measure of authority they can get.

The first batch of new merchandise (based on old images, yes, but we’ve found new ways to sell them to you!) is ready for pre-order.

Let’s start with that old standby from January, Rule 37. It is now available as a T-shirt (plain white, or “ringer” white) with a Schlock Mercenary logo on the back. The print process used on these is akin to inkjet printing right on the shirt.

The resolution and color depth is wonderful, and we’ve washed samples with hot water and BLEACH (not that YOU’d ever do that) and there’s no noticable fading. I have a year-old shirt printed this way, and it still looks great fifty washings later.

You don’t want a T-shirt? Okay, okay. Here’s Rule 37 laid out on a mousepad. I know, I know… some of you don’t use mousepads. Lots of you DO, however, because optical mice don’t always agree with shiny table surfaces. The mousepad is printed the same way the T-shirt is, so the colors look really nice.

Tired of Rule 37? I understand. Maybe I can tempt you with “Petey’s Galactic Bath” on a mousepad. It can sit there under your deskrodent as a reminder to not let your sheer brilliance go to your head.

These three items are all on pre-order, and are all going to be printed by the same manufacturer here in Utah in the next couple of weeks. We plan to start shipping things out to you on or around May 20th, but it could happen sooner than that. Or a little later. We’ll keep you posted. Watch this space.

This Saturday is the Seventh Annual Free Comic Book Day, and I’ll be at Dragons Keep in Provo, UT with several other creators including my good friends Dave Stanworth and Kevin Wasden. Also there: Chad Hardin, Mandy McMurray, and JJ Harrison.

I’ll have a stack of paper in front of me, and will cheerfully whip out free sketches of Schlock characters (read: “easy stuff.”) I’ll also be sketching in the backs of your Schlock books — we’ll have plenty of Tubs, Unders, and Blacknesses on hand — the books won’t be free, but the sketches will be.

You might be able to talk me into doing something more complex, including perhaps a light-weight commission in color, but you’ll probably need to wave some money under my nose to get the really good stuff. Oh, and as long as you’re waving money around, I shall make sure the store has plenty of Rule 1 T-shirts, and I’ll even bring some Rule 37 posters and Tagon Logo pins along for good measure.

I’ll have the Bonus Story from The Teraport Wars in black-and-white line art available for perusal… if you’re inclined to spoil things for yourself by reading it months ahead of when the book will actually be available.

(Not in Utah this weekend. I understand. So very few of us are… Maybe NEXT weekend you’ll be in Arizona, because I’ll be at Leprecon!)

I like being on my A-game. Monday and Tuesday of this week I knocked down a week of comics, scripting, pencilling, inking, and coloring. And it wasn’t just talking-head stuff, either. The week I scripted and drew had elephants, fancy equipment, and impending peril.

(Peril is difficult to draw.)

Anyway, that leaves the whole rest of the week for goofing off coloring the Bonus Story, in hopes of maybe, just maybe, SOMEDAY finishing this next book: Schlock Mercenary: The Teraport Wars.

I’m sorry it’s taken so long. I swear, I will get this thing sent off to the printer, and the moment I do, I’ll start work on the next one so they’re not spaced quite so far apart.

Some of you may have seen your posts disappear. This is because Akismet thinks you’re dirty spammers, and I need to teach it otherwise. I get a lot (a VERY lot) of spam, and the Akismet queue ends up quite deep.

So… if you post, and it doesn’t show up immediately, that means it’s been trapped. Email me, and I’ll de-spam it, teaching Akismet that you’re actually okay by me.

Sorry for the inconvenience. Fortunately this is MORE convenient than wading through the spam would be. We have 8,300 legit comments on 561 posts here, and Akismet has trapped 85,000 spam comments. Do the math: we’d be 10:1 under spam without it…

So… I’ve gotten a lot (and I do mean a LOT) of hate-mail regarding Ensign Para Ventura. Fortunately none of you are hating me. You’re hating HER.

That’s fine. A lot of us are hard-wired to resent whiney, prima-donna, child-prodigy types, whether or not they’re actually anywhere near the age they appear to be (yes, Ventura appears to be somewhere between 13 and 16 years old. Yes, she’s drawn that way on purpose. No, I’m not telling you her real age. Yes, it’s more fun for ME that way. No, your own fun quotient was not entered into this particular equation.)

Anyway, in the raft of hate-mail I’ve also gotten a little fan mail, including two pieces of Para Ventura Fan Art. The first came from Thomas Thetford and features a rather more heroically proportioned Ensign Ventura in a ‘botyard of sorts (click on the image for a full picture.)

The secnd comes from Andy Odendahl, and features Ensign Ventura preparing to modify poor Ennesby. Again, click the picture for the full version.

Enjoy!