August 08, 2003

Sausage McBacklash
entry,

On Monday I whole-heartedly (although in a less-than-completely heart-HEALTHY way) endorsed McDonald's new "McGriddles" line of breakfast sandwiches. Contrary to the expectation set by the word "mercenary" in the title of my strip, this was not done out of sponsorship hope from the Ray McKroc-ites living under the golden arches. I hold no hope of ever getting so much as an email from McDonald's corporate offices, let alone actual remuneration. No, I posted what I did because I honestly enjoy the McGriddle.

On Wednesday I confessed to buying a Sausage McGriddle for my wife as an anniversary present.

Not surprisingly, there are folks out there in schlock-land ("Schlockers," I call you, one and all) who are shocked and appalled. Some of you have told me that pancakes, sausage, and syrup were never meant to be eaten bare-handed (I think they said the same thing to the Wright brothers, or maybe it was the Earl of Sandwich... I forget), much less bundled as sandwiches and given as tokens of love. Others of you have wrung your virtual hands at me in electronically-rendered gastrointestinal pain. Not a few of you have insisted that any definition of the word "food" that includes offerings from McDonald's must be too broad, and that Noah Webster himself is rolling in his grave with McCalorie-induced zombie bowel disorder.

(Note: I bet McDonald's never puts THAT on a poster.)

Okay, fine. Let's agree to disagree. Many, many MORE of you emailed me to either say (and I paraphrase freely) "amen, I love McGriddles too," or "thanks for directing me to this 21st-century manna." I believe I'm still solidly rooted in the majority opinion here -- 75% of the people who care to email me on the subject LIKE the McGriddle. If culinary standards are set democratically, we've proven Plato correct, in that democracy has been "unable to do either any great good or any great evil," our collective tastes instead voting McMediocrity into comestible power.

"McWhat?!" the McLoyalists exclaim loudly. "Howard, you turncoat! You REBEL!"

Get over it. Just because I love the thing doesn't mean I think a Sausage McGriddle is better than REAL pancakes. But McDonald's is still getting my money. To co-opt someone else's product marketing slogan, "Capitalism and Democracy... two great tastes that brought you the fast food industry."