Hey, Y’all! Watch This!
Posted February 1st, 2006 by Howard TaylerMike Williamson pointed me at this article, which describes hunting Wisconsin whitetail deer with a 12 pound Mountain Howitzer cannon.
I’ve gone cannoning before (a friend of mine made a 72mm black-powder cannon, and we fired frozen-juice canisters filled with cement out of it on more than one occasion), but I’ve never undertaken to HUNT with one. This fella has.
Well, I dug around on his site a little bit, and found another choice article: if deer hunting isn’t your speed, how about feral cat hunting — this time with a coehorn mortar?
Besides being good for a laugh, both of these articles are full of very practical information. And if you’ve got the money lying around, this guy will be happy to sell you plans for building your own large-bore black-powder replicas. (Note: “replica” in this case means “fully functional replica of a 19th-century weapon”)
This is a guy I’d love to have as a drinking buddy… though perhaps not as a next-door neighbor. Unless we’ve got really, really big yards.
NOTE: Apparently when I said “good for a laugh,” some of you reached the erroneous (though understandable) conclusion that I find killing “funny.” The parts I find funny in the article above are not the photos of dead animals. They’re in the presentation of some of the other material. Since some of you are going to continue to take offense at this anyway, I’d like to point out that I write a comic strip in which violence (including killing) is presented in such a way that it is funny. This is difficult to do, but if you’re reading this, that’s because you read the comic, and (it may be assumed) you laugh. Why do you laugh?
Explore posts in the same categories: Firearms, Humor
February 4th, 2006 at 4:39 pm
… Deer I can stomach blasting with a howizter… but the cats? I … THE POOR KITTIES! I am greatly saddened…
Poor, poor kitties. I wonder if he actually launched the little gray kitten… (T_T)
February 4th, 2006 at 6:19 pm
Dear Lord, I can only pray it is so. There are millions too many feral cats around, thinning the, er, herd(?) can’t possibly hurt any.
February 4th, 2006 at 7:35 pm
Oh my god!
I noticed that Americans are a little strange about guns… but that?
What is next?
Hunting with tactical Nukes?
Hunting with light Anti-tank-weapons?
You guys are crazy.
And you frighten me a little. ;)
February 4th, 2006 at 8:35 pm
I hope both those people blow themselves up.
” If they should discover the Mountain Howitzer Cannon, “tell them that they are trespassing on private land”, and threaten to call the Sheriff if they don’t leave at once. ”
Seriously. This guy is an idiot and a criminal to boot.
February 4th, 2006 at 8:56 pm
As is pretty obvious, (by the guys writing style, if nothing else) it’s the same guy. Frankly, I admire the crazy bastard. He harvested some venison whilst pursuing his hobby, and did so in a most unusual manner. As for hunting cats with a black powder mortar, well, it’s just a shame he can’t use exploding shells.
Now how’s that old song go? Ah, yes.
Poooooisoning pigeons in the park! Everybody sing!
February 4th, 2006 at 9:19 pm
apparently a spoof as I’m sure the stray cats at least violates several animal cruelty laws.
not all that funny, I’m pretty disappointed really – I really had thought better of you than to find the idea of maiming animals for fun funny.
February 4th, 2006 at 9:41 pm
Uhgh. As someone who grew up with cats, and who has a relative who cares for feral cats (said relative also works with organizations to put those cats which become domesticated up for adoption – this happens more often than you might think!), I’d have to say the feral cat hunting makes me sick to my stomach.
I realize that feral cats can be a nuiscance, especially in areas more open than the metro suburbs I live in, but that article, if it isn’t a hoax, is just sick.
February 4th, 2006 at 9:55 pm
The song you are looking for is poisoning pigeons in the park by tom lehrer.
The cat hunting is sick, and everything the guy describes is definitely very illegal (look, if cat hunting is illegal period, why would it be allowed with a mortar?) and very, very dangerous. However, building the cannon itself is pretty cool. All the advice he gives apart from staying away from the blast will probably get you in more trouble, though.
On a side note, how does the guy know that when hunting cats, he is not getting pet cats that are allowed outdoors? Some of the cats in the picture did not look that unhealthy/uncared for.
February 4th, 2006 at 9:59 pm
Feral cats, TRUE feral cats, don’t get domesticated. Maybe their kittens do, but the 2nd-generation ferals do not. In metropolitan areas this is less of a problem because you don’t see 2nd- or 3rd-generation ferals, and you can actually FIND the kittens. In metros most of what you get is “strays.”
In rural areas, though, it’s another story altogether.
As a former varmint-hunter myself (varmint=”pest animal which is legal to hunt”) I know that “cute” does not mean “safe.” The coehorn mortar is a LOT more sporting than the .22 CB “silent” rounds I used, though “sporting” is counterproductive when you’re trying to cull an overpopulated species.
February 4th, 2006 at 9:59 pm
I think he doesn´t care much if he takes out some other cats.
February 4th, 2006 at 10:21 pm
Judging from the landscape pictures, his nearest neighbor is probably a thousand yards away, at least. The odds are good that any pet cat in the area has already been killed by the ferals.
February 4th, 2006 at 10:23 pm
Oh, and for the record, Mike Williamson is NOT the author of the Buckstix blog items. Similar writing styles, similar subject matter perhaps, but Mike has his hands full with sharp pointy things in Indiana and writing for Baen Books. He’s not our Wisconsin cannonneer.
February 4th, 2006 at 10:29 pm
Oh, and for the record I’m from a “RURAL” area where my nearest neighbour was a quarter of a mile away.
Killing any animal for the sake of ‘killing’ and for fun is not right. Finding enjoyment in the killing of any animal just because you can is sick.
February 4th, 2006 at 10:57 pm
What I want to know is how on even a hypothetical level would this be possible lets ignore the likly possiblity of injuring another human being with richochet (That wounds a lot of people who are excessive with firearms) and go to how would more intellgent human beings not know what this guys is up to the sound the smell the splatter this all seems a little too unlikly (Or at least I hope so)
I have hunted (small things only) on three occasions and the rule is if you kill it you take the time to make a meal of it
February 4th, 2006 at 11:00 pm
Howard, I beg to differ on your comment re: ‘TRUE feral cats’.
In the woods behind my mother’s house (the relative I mentioned earlier), there have been generations of feral cats. They tend to die off of disease, but the lucky ones at least see some care from humans.
Some of these cats are extremely feral, as in they won’t let a human anywhere near them. One such cat (Sneakers) gave birth in my mother’s garage a number of years ago – she at least found a warm, dry area to keep her kittens. We managed to rescue the kittens, and eventually managed to coax her inside.
This cat was fairly young at the time – only a year and a half to two years old. She was born in the wild, and she was NOT domesticated. Suffice it to say, though, this cat did a complete 180 in a matter of a few weeks. Until she died last year (old age), this was one of the friendliest cats I’ve ever seen, and you would never have known she started life as a feral cat.
Another example is a cat who had a severely turned in eyelid (genetic problem – years of inbreeding among the feral cat population). He and his siblings used to live at the end of the street. This cat was named ‘Trust’ by the people who left food for this group of cats – he became very friendly with the people he recognized.
This cat was trapped by my mother and brought inside after the people who took care of that group moved away (alas, she wasn’t able to trap the siblings). He figured out the domestic cat bit quickly, too, and as Sneakers did, became an extremely friendly housecat.
That’s not to say that all of the cats that were rescued (these two continued to live with my mother, as they were already adults at the time of rescue, but kittens were typically adopted out via local organizations) were domesticated so easily. Sometimes, out of a litter of kittens, one or two will insist on being afraid of humans, even long after their siblings stopped being feral. They typically require more time to socalize.
The worst cases are trapped, neutered, and let outside to live again. When possible, someone will leave food out for them (so at least they have SOMETHING to eat other than songbirds :) ), but at least this way, they won’t continue to breed.
A far cry from hunting them, I’d say.
February 4th, 2006 at 11:05 pm
Howard, for the record, the problem I have is in you classifying killing anything for _FUN_
as amusing.
February 4th, 2006 at 11:06 pm
Scott: Obviously I’ve upset you. Sorry about that. One of your posts got moderated into oblivion for the language you chose to use — apparently I REALLY upset you.
I appreciate the support you’ve lent in the past. I’ll miss it, but I’m not going to allow its absence to change the way I write, nor what I write about.
–Howard
February 4th, 2006 at 11:20 pm
Howard – my bad on the language, I don’t find a problem with killing animals – I find that to be neccessary in far too many cases.
Finding it funny? That’s reprehensible. I don’t care that my support doesn’t matter.
I care that you are not the christian you espouse yourself to be. You find it amusing to see another living being suffer for amusement purpose only. Not out of neccesity, but because it’s funny.
Think about that. It’s funny that the animals die. Not tragic. Funny.
We created the problem by being irresponsible with the animals we breed – this is not a thing to find amusing. This is something to mourn about ourselves.
But apparently pictures of dead animals are what you find funny. I will continue to lament this aspect of humanity – the inability to take responsibility for our own action and instead find it amusing.
The cannons are cool – it’s the “This is funny!” attitude towards killing real live animals I find disquieting.
February 4th, 2006 at 11:29 pm
Back when I read the ‘hunting feril cats’ article I found it to be informative. I’ve lived in areas with vermin animals (including dogs, cute dogs that would CHEW YOUR ARM OFF AS SOON AS LOOK AT YOU) and have no emotional connection to animals most class as ‘cute.’ I have no emotional leanings against killing feral animals that are the offspirng of someone’s onetime pet. If feral animals had been kept under control there would not be dingoes or rabbits ravaging the continent of Australia. Perhaps people are ‘not amused’ by the deaths of cats, but I see no moral problem with it. Feral cats live a pitiful existance of scratching out food wherever they can find it, being infected with nasty illnesses, and living just long enough to propogate. I say, hunt feral cats (and other pet animals) with whatever weapon becomes handy. Songbird populations thank you.
February 4th, 2006 at 11:29 pm
Scott — by way of clarification, please re-read the post above. I think you’ve misunderstood me, and I’ve edited the post in an effort to rectify that.
February 4th, 2006 at 11:43 pm
I certainly understand the desire to play around with artillery, and I don’t have any objection to hunting animals per se as long as there is some reason for it (killing pests, or getting meat to eat, basically) and it is done reasonably humanely. But I can’t understand the author’s combination of the two.
Hunting deer with a twelve-pounder? Not only is it illegal and moderately dangeous to the artillerist and passers-by, but it is certainly unsporting. Still, at least he eats what is left. Mortaring feral cats is equally illegal, less dangeous, more sporting, but serves even less purpose unless the cats are badly overpopulated or there are a lot of poultry and small pets in the area. The author of those articles is funny, but I find aspects of his sense of humor to be barbaric. I am amused by his discussion of how to avoid un-enlightened passers-by and officers of the law, but rather hope that he is caught and fined one day.
This does seem to be an example of the obsession of some Americans (and some less-vocal people from other countries, to be fair) with big guns.
February 4th, 2006 at 11:50 pm
comic is not equal to reality.
Drawn pictures do not have the impact that a photograph has – tv violence or video game violence does not have the impact of a photograph from a real crime scene to me either. The photos in the linked article were a bit too realistic for me to determine if they were real or not however.
I actually don’t find the comics about killing all that funny – go figure. Well except the lawyers. I admit to moral weakness regarding lawyers. I also read overlawyered.com daily so that may have something to do with that.
Again I think that the articles are pure spoof – if they were real he’d be up on charges with evidence for violating animal cruelty laws – it was the comment that this is something we should find amusing that bothered me – thank you for the semi-clarification in the article.
February 5th, 2006 at 12:04 am
Oh noes! The ebil comix drawer endorses teh murder of cute wittle kitties..[/sarcasm] Attention hippies! Nature doesn’t feel you vibe, and bambi is only a movie. You’re pet does more than wander the neighborhood when you put them out for the night. Cats are notorious for killing birds for “sport”, often not even bothering to cache the carcass. They just kill the bird and leave it there. They are atributed to the massive decline in native songbird populations in Britian because they’re a “protected animal”, and shooting them is a crime.
Rural Americans who stock gamebirds for hunting find them a particular nuisance, particularly ground dwelling grouse, who’s instinct is to remain still until discovered. This is why the first indication of a feral cat problem is the disappearance of Grouse. As for people who dump them off the side of the road for “the nice farmer to give them a home”. Here’s reality folks, Farmer is more likely to shoot and bury them, than feed and take them in. They have enough headaches to deal with, without taking care of your problems.
And by the way, most states consider a cat without a collar to be “feral”, and quite a few even that doesn’t matter – if it ain’t your cat, and it’s on your land, you do as you see fit. Most of the time, all you need is a small game license.
February 5th, 2006 at 12:11 am
Howard–
Just for grins and giggles, here’s a link to a pic of Mad Mike, clearing the chamber of my 2-pounder Coehorn: http://i.pbase.com/g3/24/534624/2/53990698.CoehornMadMike.jpg
Throwing a bit of reality into the debate, here, the part about hunting feral cats is, IMO, spoof. I know what kind of accuracy you can get out of a Coehorn that size. Puddy-tats at 400+ yards ain’t in it. For that matter, bambi-whacking with a 12-pounder howitzer is a stretch, too. Even with canister, that’s going to be a tough shot.
February 5th, 2006 at 12:33 am
I don’t see how hunting with a 12lb howitzer is any less sporting than hunting with a modern rifle. I’d actually consider it -more- sporting. Modern hunting rifles in a good caliber can accurately take deer at ranges longer than 300 yards, assuming you’ve got a good rifle, a high quality scope and you’ve done your range work. That’s not all that sporting, either.
February 5th, 2006 at 12:58 am
Three things got to me about hunting with a cannon. The first was the “I am going to do something illegal, threaten anyone who tries to call me on my illegal activity and go to lengths to cover it up just because it gets my rocks off to hunt with artillery” tone of the piece.
The second was the fact that his procedure was basically to bait a deer into the killzone of a cannon and then shoot it with grapeshot. That’s about as sporting as laying a minefield and then seeding it with fodder and salt licks.
Finally what he’s dooing is completly uncontrolled. He has no way of knowing if he’s going to hit the deer once or 20 times. Then he has the gall to say ” Move away from the howitzer by one-half mile. ( or more ) Sit down and eat your lunch. Keep an eye on the area from a distance, making sure there are no nosey hunters that wander over to see what all the noise ( and smoke ) was about.”. I think that if you’re going to hunt you have a responsibilty to minimize the suffering of the animal you’re hunting. He’s more interested in covering his ass than in any potential suffering this method of hunting causes. It’s this evasiveness and disregard for the animals suffering that moves him closer to the kind of adolescent psychopaths that tie fireworks to cats for fun than any kind of hunter.
For the record if I had the space and money to make replica cannon, I would do it, and probably blast the holy hell out of whatever scrap cars appliences, wooden targes I could find. And for the record I have no problem with sport hunters.
February 5th, 2006 at 2:34 am
Maybe the guys sense of the kinesthetic is just a bit out there. If he’s for real, I hope he takes his own precautions to heart.
Now if Schlock and the Toughs were to mortar some attorney drones with, say, a four & a half meter mod (31?) goober round.. now that would be funny, and kinesthetically pleasing to boot.
One frame of “Whooosh!” two frames of massed attorney-drones plotting unawares, and…..”Aieeeee!”
February 5th, 2006 at 2:53 am
Oh my… tell you, people, the guy have heard the Russian proverb – “To kill sparrows with cannon” – and just took it a bit too serious. Actually, the way that guy talks about killing the cats is disturbing. It’s not hunting, it’s just sadism, y’know. Hunting is – you shoot it, you don’t make it suffer, you eat it. Still, those guns themselves *are* cool… Thank you, Howard!
February 5th, 2006 at 6:05 am
Frankly, culling a species with an artillery peice is stupid. Making a game of it and inviting friends over to watch is sadistic.
A person using .22 silent rounds makes far more sense then a nut with a mortar. He also understands the point of what he is doing- to remove overpopulation issues. He has the mercy to use a weapon that does not actually maim and shred without killing. And I doubt he makes his buddies over to laugh at the cats being killed in such a barbaric way.
And as for HTRN… Not only are you not going to convince anyone by calling everybody who disagrees with you hippies, but I doubt anybody objects to the deer being killed so much as the methods he says to use doing it. I mean, his method is absurdly unsporting (grapeshot?! there is no way he would miss) and he obviously uses illegal methods not only to hunt, but to keep people away, or keep them from mentioning it.
February 5th, 2006 at 7:24 am
I find something extremely interesting: The sociopaths aka as “cat-lovers” have no fricken sense of humor at all. Buckstix’ website is FUNNY. period.
What amazes me is how these oversensitive, preening, professionally insulted [people] get so worked up over dark humor. Primarily because they have no sense of humor themselves.
It’s too bad you guys are too stupid, or emotionally/hormonally controlled that you can’t see Buckstix’ writings for what they are: Dark humor. Plus very informational and educational in technical terms.
February 5th, 2006 at 7:33 am
And, obtw, if you let your “kitty” run outdoors unregulated, it deserves to be shot. And you deserve to be horsewhipped. I would like to see letting a cat run made into a serious offense. How can you care about a cat, yet not give a rip about all the critters it kills, just for fun, and then come on here all huffed up about “sporting” and “cruelty”. Hypocrisy reigns.
February 5th, 2006 at 7:37 am
Howard, file me under “those who are going to continue to take offense.” Bloodsport is not funny. Killing for amusement is not funny. And there are miles of difference between the cartoon killing of an imaginary character and the real slaughter of animals done for pure sport. I’m genuinely suprised that you would put your stamp of approval on something like this.
Regarding feral cats, as a semiprofessional cat rehabilitator myself, trust me when I tell you that true ferals, even second and third generation, can very certainly be rehabbed. It takes years of work and patience, and they don’t always become lap cats. But just because an animal won’t come when you call it doesn’t make it cannon fodder. I don’t care if it’s the killing or the presentation you’re laughing at…they’re all rolled up in the same ball of wax. Would you find it equally funny if the guy was talking about hunting Cambodian orphans for sport?
The deer “hunting” is just as bad, compounded by the fact that the guy is advocating something illegal, basically saying that he wants to thumb his nose at law enforcement just because he can. Even calling this garbage activity blood”sport” is giving it more than I think it deserves. It’s slaughter for fun, laughing while something else living dies in a horrible way. That’s barbarism.
February 5th, 2006 at 7:41 am
And one more thing, since I just saw Drew’s post.
True feral cats do not hunt for sport…they hunt for food. Housecats on the roam are the only animals that kill and don’t eat it, usually because they have the instinct to kill, but not the training to know what to do afterward. People should definitely not allow their housecats to roam.
But the suggestion that feral cats do real and lasting damage to songbird populations is bogus, and has been proven so time and again. They can inhibit local populations of ground-dwelling rodents, but most people don’t mind that.
And at all events, if it were true that they were damaging populations of other animals, that hardly justifies savagery.
February 5th, 2006 at 7:43 am
I can’t believe he’s using a Coehorn mortar for feral cats.
Claymores are much better.
February 5th, 2006 at 8:02 am
Brian: Cats != People. That you should suggest that on some moral level they are only devalues people.
February 5th, 2006 at 8:04 am
Tasteless, yes. Evil – no.
On hunting deer with a 12 pounder
A quick read of the Texas hunting laws does not turn up anything which would make it illegal. Hunting with a muzzleloader is legal, but there is no definition about the size of the muzzloader, or that it must be man portable or shoulderable. The best I can come up with is a prohibition on wanton waste of the carcass afterwards. BTW – mines, rockets, and breechloading artillery are illegal for hunting.
The hunting feral cats with a mortar is clearly a spoof. There is a severe feral cat problem, with significant impacts to the native wildlife. The response ranges from the bunny-hugger’s “neuter them and release to continue killing” to the kill happy shoot everything. The other plague down here is feral hogs, which breed just as fast and weigh up to 400+ lbs. Bunny hugger’s don’t seem to want to adopt them.
I don’t know a good solution. Killing everything won’t work. The only method that has a chance of actually reducing the feral cat population is a widespread catch and euthanasia program. That at least ensures a minimum of suffering for the cats. Trying to keep them, or releasing them back into the wild only perpetuates the problem. Look at the health problems of most feral cats for an example of suffering.
Call it the bambi syndrome. If it’s cute and furry, some people turn their brains off.
That said, can Sergeant Schlock show up at an attorney drone convention with a mouth borne 12 pounder. THAT would be funny.