New Auction: Elf’s New Dress
Posted February 20th, 2006 by Howard Tayler
There’s a new auction up, and I think you’ll like it. You see, a few weeks ago I got a couple of new cartooning books, and one of them shows me how to better draw “wrinkles and drapes.” I knew I’d need it, because Elf was going shopping, and was going to buy something that was NOT skin-tight. Well, with the book in hand, I sat down and created a concept-piece, complete with colors. I then used that piece to help me get the line-art right in last Sunday’s strip.
Click on the picture to see the auction.
I’m sure some of you are wondering, as you look at Elf’s new dress, whether I think this is “fashionable” or “attractive.” Am I making some kind of a statement with this dress?
The answer is simple. My own fashion sense (or lack thereof) is irrelevant here. I’m sure that at some point in future history, draped, clasped, tunic-like clothing will be “in” for women. I don’t have to like it, and neither do you. The fact of the matter is that Elf liked it, and paid good money for it.
I would caution you to NOT comment on the dress one way or another within earshot of the fiesty Lieutenant Foxworthy. I can’t promise where your tie-tack will or will not end up.
Explore posts in the same categories: Cartooning, Merchandise
February 20th, 2006 at 11:20 am
While that’s true, I don’t think the ‘majority’ of this audience would
mind the result, due to the deliverer of the tie tack.
Ok, seriously, I’m impressed. Drawing draped anything appears to
be incredibly challenging, yet you manage to pull it off smoothly.
Thanks for the updates from LTUE as well. Wish I’d have an opportunity
to attend that sort of affair in the near future. Preferrably in such a way
as to not only find amusement, but distribute my share as well.
Keep up the good Schlocking!
February 20th, 2006 at 12:01 pm
I am be the only one here would misses those over-sized ‘boot’s off the Odin-suit. And, oddly, I -do- think they would have worked with that dress. Just…I don’t know, find -really- big sandles. Or paint. Lots of paint.
February 20th, 2006 at 12:36 pm
Actually, I remember in the 70’s when people were saying that skirts were getting shorter and shorter with no end in sight (anyone remember the miniskirt?), tops were getting smaller and smaller (anyone remember the tube top?)… Bottom line was that everyone believed that by the turn of the century, women would be walking around naked (or nearly so), and we would be treated to an endless parade of unclothed young college-age women who believed that public nudity was fashionable. Or at least women who believed that a string bikini and a thong represented proper formal wear.
Sadly, like the flying cars of the fifties and the lunar tourism of the seventies, this was another “everyone knows” prognostication that, to the heartbreak of many, never came to pass.
The largest thing that people often forget is Asimov’s Three Rules of Futurism:
1) What is happening will continue to happen
2) Consider the obvious seriously
3) Consider the consequences
Flying cars was an obvious “never happen”, looked at this way. Consider the problems we have today with drunk drivers (and just plain idiot drivers), then multiply that by the factor of jet speed and throw in a few convenient buildings for drunks and idiots to slam into, and you can see that flying cars was an idea that will never happen within our lifetimes, if ever. If it ever does, it will be because technology has advanced to the point where the element of “human error” involved in piloting any vehicle (ground, air or otherwise) has been completely removed.
Lunar tourism is another idea that isn’t going to happen within the forseeable future, despite what all the “experts” thought in the 70’s. Even viewed as a straightforward engineering challenge, the challenge itself is hardly simple, and similar challenges have already shown us historically just how far we have to go. The first explorers reached the New World around the dawn of the 16th century, but there wasn’t any actual tourism until the 18th century – and we could BREATHE there. As history eventually taught us, the largest problem was the triple whammy of transportation technology needing to reach the point where it was cheap, safe and (relative to the standards of the day) fast. Tourism by ordinary people can’t happen until all three conditions are fulfilled – do a “pick two” comparison and you can quickly see why. Safe, Fast, but not cheap? Only the super-rich can go (the current booking costs for an LEO joy ride on the Russian Shuttle come to mind). Safe, Cheap, but not fast? Hey, the moon looks close, but it’s not, it’s a quarter million kilometers away, and that’s a damn long walk. Cheap, fast, but not safe? Still no go – normal tourists don’t want to risk their lives, you can’t show off your travel photos and trashy tourist souveniers to your buddies if you’re currently busy pushing up daisies.
Likewise, though it pains me to say it, it is extremely unlikely public nudity will ever become the norm for young buxom college-age girls, despite the most fervent prayers of all the prognosticators in the 70’s. Those that believed it would happen had failed to follow Asimov’s advice and “consider the obvious seriously” – obvious matters such as snow, rain, and sticky soda spilled on subway seats. And, there’s the simple reason of why women dress the way they dress to begin with – aside from utilitarian garments (raincoats and galoshes will never really be fashionable, even if they are made by Gucci), ask a woman dressed fashionably why they dress the way they dress and the answer is always the same: To Look Nice. (Note: If you try to explain that nudity would look nice, the response they give usually is painful, wear an athletic cup.) This begs the question “who are you trying to impress?” The answer (if you can obtain one without requiring an athletic cup for the interviews) varies, but generally speaking, they want to look nice to catch a guy’s attention (or, in the case of married women, keep a guy’s attention). Consider the consequences: If a woman has to wear a thong to catch a guy’s attention, something is desperately wrong with the guys. “Alternative Lifestyles” are fine, but when you reach that point, you’re now beginning to question the issue of species survival.
One of the things that enchants me about your work, Howard, is that you DID follow all three of Asimov’s rules with much of the “Shlockiverse.” Available power is a good point in your work, and one that has time and again led me to point people towards your webpage for a web-comic that is both serious science and seriously funny. Today, the typical European uses hundreds of times more more energy than his ancestors did fifty years ago – and tens of thousands of times more than his ancestors could even produce five hundred years before (even after you do the math to convert mechanical energy to electrical energy). Energy production, distribution and usage (be it mechanical, electrical, or what have you) has always been increasing, it has never decreased. “That which will happen will continue to happen” – in the Shlockiverse future, increases in energy production continues to happen, and ordinary people use an absolutely mind-boggling amount of energy just living their daily lives (well, mind-boggling to a grunt scratching his butt at the dawn of the 21st century, at any rate). “Consider the Obvious Seriously” – in the Shlockiverse, that level of power production means that nuclear power is not only normal, it’s safe, pocket-portable, convenient, and omnipresent. “Consider the Consequences” – in the Shlockiverse, dramatic amounts of available energy have meant that hand-held energy weapons with a raw power output that allows their users to toss around concepts like “gigajoules” with frightening ease is fairly routine. This has meant that discussions of whether or not one should ban kinetic energy weapons (slug-throwers) has become a moot point when weapons technology has reached the level where a pistol you can tuck in your pocket has the power to level a building (or at least punch some rather remarkably large holes in it and set it on fire). From what little we’ve seen in the background as Shlock & company tear through the world around them, the largest focus is now sophisticated armor technology, technology that disables or otherwise thwarts weaponry, and learning how to look like you aren’t worth the effort of pulling a trigger to blow up.
But, sadly, even in the Shlockiverse, a string bikini and thong still hasn’t become formal wear. Women will continue to defiantly wear just enough to be sufficiently tantalizing without risking influenza, men will continue to watch sports while imbibing intoxicating substances with their companions and attempt to claim who won or lost is actually important, and large green gooshy beings with guns will continue to be dangerously funny.
February 20th, 2006 at 8:43 pm
Longest. Comment. Ever.
You said neat stuff though, so it’s okay. :-)
re: flying cars… per Asimov’s rules, we’ll get them eventually:
1) automation… more and more things are automated. Eventually automobiles will be AUTOmobiles. And so will aircraft. We already have automated aircraft fighting in wars.
2) Increased air-traffic. More people fly now than ever before (well… there was a dip following 9/11, but only a dip).
3) Therefore… flying cars will eventually come to pass, and will be automated. The consequences of computer crashes will have been hammered out by the military during step 1.
Sadly, this does not bring public nudity to pass any sooner. Even full environmental control and automatic subway-seat cleaning won’t pull that off (so to speak.)
February 20th, 2006 at 9:22 pm
Actually, Jim, women dress well to impress other women, or so I’ve read.
February 20th, 2006 at 11:02 pm
1) Being naked is uncomfortable in areas that have excess sun, dust storms, freezing weather and/or biting insects. It also limits what you can comfortably sit on. Metal is out because of its heat transfer abilities. Plastic isn’t much better. Wood is fine as long as it’s polished.
And we won’t even go into the sound your rump makes when you’re standing up after you’ve sweated in a chair.
2) Being naked means you don’t have any place to hide things. Draping clothes, however, can hide a multitude of things.
3) Some of us should stay clothed for the sake of public aesthetics. There are some things worse than fashion faux pauxes.
February 21st, 2006 at 4:04 am
I’ve stared at that picture of Elf for about five minutes, trying to pin down what looks weird about the lines, and I’ve finally worked it out. The draping, folding etc looks great, but her left breast has apparently moved over to join her right. It doesn’t at all match up with her left-shoulder-back-right-shoulder-forward pose.
February 21st, 2006 at 8:32 am
There are other perfectly good reasons why public nudity is unlikely to become the norm.
Mamaslyth pointed out the biggies. It can be uncomfortable. And, you have to recall that your plumber will have a lot more than just his crack showing when he bends over. Think about that real carefully before advocating general nudity. It’s not all about volleyball players and professional dancers.
Also, nudity is free. The clothing industry is very happy to charge you $200 for a couple pieces of electrical tape and a strip of gauze. They are not so happy to create advertising that tells you that it’s cool not to buy their stuff.
Nude people also don’t have pockets. Not such a big deal for women, but may be for men.
February 21st, 2006 at 10:19 am
Women dress fashionably to impress other women. It’s a competitive thing. For men, women dress to make themselves look young. That’s a lot more about the undergarments!
In ancient Crete, full leather skirts and bare breasts was the fashion for women. You guys were just born too late, in the wrong place. Sorry about that.
Howard, great job on the draping! Your work just gets better and better.