And Now, Cake
Posted October 27th, 2007 by Howard TaylerOn Friday schlocker S. “McNutcase” Humphreys notified me that he was having a birthday. Normally I would just say “congratulations, you survived another year,” but in this case I have to say “congratulations, you have wonderful friends.” You see, they baked him this cake.
And so I present all of you with a picture of cake. Which, unless you are S. Humphreys or one of his excellent friends, you can not eat.
(In this picture the intake ports look like they were made with slices of pepperoni. If I find out that they ARE pepperoni I shall be forced to revise my estimate of these “friends.”)
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October 27th, 2007 at 8:54 pm
I dunno. they look like the tops of Ding-Dongs you ask me. those would be some pretty large pepperoni slices.
October 27th, 2007 at 8:57 pm
Clearly, that is chocolate. The shadowing suggests that it is raised, and the smearing around the edges suggests that it was not fully solid when applied to the cake.
If we ignore that, it’s too large for pepperoni, and must be summer sausage instead.
October 27th, 2007 at 9:10 pm
Awesome! Everyone should have friends like that, pepperoni or no.
October 27th, 2007 at 10:49 pm
I don’t know. I mean how comfortable would you be if someone handed you a cake that made an
Ominous HUMMMMM!!!!!
October 27th, 2007 at 11:01 pm
Just out of curiosity … no one has invented non-toxic luminescent icing/cream filling, have they? The only way this cake could get more legendary is with the addition of such for an edible glow of doom.
Aaaanywaaaay this cake is great. It’s so delicious and moist. Look at me still talking wh–
*gets thoomed for making a Portal reference*
October 27th, 2007 at 11:32 pm
There are two easy solutions for luminescence.
1) Put a light-bulb in the cake. I suggest carving the hole for it, rather than trying to bake it in place.
2) Carefully mix the colors of frosting, and treat the frosting process as an exercise in painting lighting effects. It’s tedious, but with a good range of reds, oranges, and yellows you should be fine.
October 28th, 2007 at 1:01 am
1. The intake ports are… erm… were largish discs of chocolate, held on with chocolate spread.
2. There was an attempt at a glow of doom, done with dyed sugar.
October 28th, 2007 at 4:34 am
But no Ominous HMMMMMMMMMMM!
I suppose confectionery can only go so far.
October 28th, 2007 at 4:44 am
JoJo: there was actually an “Ommmminous Hummmmmm”… written around the breech end of the barrel. It’s just about visible in the photo…
October 28th, 2007 at 5:12 am
I recognise those vent ports, they are “Giant Buttons”, inch wide discs of chocolate made by Cadbury’s in England
excellent work on the cake.
October 28th, 2007 at 6:32 am
I was going to guess Thin Mints for the exhaust ports.
Pretty good piece of edible weaponry.
October 28th, 2007 at 6:58 am
easy glow:
1. carve out the barrel and frost with light to medium yellow
2. punch 3mm or 5mm as appropriate holes in the base board
3. insert 3mm or 5mm UV LEDs in the holes 5v preferable
4. wire to a small battery pack (3AA in series for 5v)
5. cover the end port with some yellow cellophane to help add color and block some of the UV from sensitive eyes
note: LEDs can be secured with super glue at the base however if you do this cover the board with clear plastic wrap first
BTW coolest cake EVER
juenger1701
October 28th, 2007 at 8:48 am
It’s not THAT hard for anyone else to eat a picture of cake, but why would one want to?
October 28th, 2007 at 8:16 pm
So while the cake itself couldn’t make an “Ominous HUMMMMMMMMMMM!” I wonder if the eaters made a sound similar to “Delicious, MMMMMM”
October 28th, 2007 at 8:23 pm
Trev-Mun, I’ve been spreading the gospel of Portal since I played it through the first time last week. (I’ve since played through it 4 times, and logged I-don’t-know-how-many-hours on the challenge boards.)
As for giving the cake a glow, couldn’t you just shove a couple glow-sticks in there? You just take ‘em out when you’re ready to eat, like you do the candles.
Or you could stick the candles in there somehow… Hmm. You guys go discuss while I eat the entire thing.
October 28th, 2007 at 8:59 pm
Is TAG supposed to be stuttering in today’s strip?
October 29th, 2007 at 5:31 am
Wow. Fixed so well I can’t even see how the original text would have fit.
October 29th, 2007 at 9:13 am
I’ve been reading this website for 2 years, and I finally found a real reason to register:
The cake is a lie!!!
P.s: I can’t believe no one made this comment yet :P
October 29th, 2007 at 10:06 am
I ate that cake. It was truth.
October 29th, 2007 at 7:38 pm
BUT, the question is…
Was it (a) Moist?!
And, was it (b) Delicious?
October 29th, 2007 at 8:20 pm
“You will be baked, and then there will be cake.”
Does “THOOOOOOOOM” count as baking?
October 30th, 2007 at 8:54 pm
I still believe Howard should turn his hand to cake decorating, and his comments here just reinforce that! Think how much you could auction a ‘Schlock gleefully lays down covering fire’ cake for!! With chocolate ‘Ovalquik’ filling!
October 31st, 2007 at 10:52 am
Ohhhh we went MMMMMMM alright! Me, Jo and McNutcase all partook of it’s delicious cakey goodness and were well pleased! When we were coming up with the idea I told Jo she should make it in the shape of SGT Schlock-her response was that she didn’t have a cake tin in the shape of a giant turd! And “THOOOOOOOOOM” isn’t strictly baking…it’s more ‘carbonizing’ than anything else :o)
October 31st, 2007 at 9:05 pm
It’s not just carbonising. A BH-209 or BH-250 bombards the target with protons and alpha particles, and the protons in the beam transmute elements. With results that’d probably be carcinogenic, but I don’t think amorphs can get cancer.