Aaaand thank you for your input
Posted April 24th, 2008 by Howard TaylerSeriously, thank you. I’ve yet to see a thread so enthusiastically responded to here at the blog under Schlock.
Granted, most of you missed my point entirely, and shelled the crap out of terrain I won’t be attempting to capture or hold until much later in my campaign to take over the world.
What I was looking for, specifically, was merchandise I could create with next-to-zero time investment on my part. I want to be able to hand an image which already exists to Sandra, and let her take it from there. Plushies, furniture covers, pewter castings, and compilations of the Habits of Highly Effective Pirates do not fall into this category.
No, no… don’t bother trying again. I have the information I need.
Expect to see new merch in a few days. We’ll run pre-orders for a little while, and then start sending it out. No, I’m not telling you exactly what it is (rhymes with “fee blurts” and “housechads,” though.) And yes, your suggestions in the earlier thread are all being considered for future projects. I just can’t work on more than a couple of them at a time, and I can’t even do THAT until this book is finished.
Thanks.
–Howard
Explore posts in the same categories: Merchandise, Uncategorized
April 24th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
“shelled the crap out of terrain I won’t be attempting to capture or hold until much later in my campaign to take over the world.”
Consider that terrain pacified and ready for your Overlordship when the time comes.
… I sound like a lackey now. Uh, you aren’t a student of the Darth Vader School of Management, are you?
April 24th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
“(rhymes with “fee blurts” and “housechads,” though.)”
You’re selling us bee skirts and louse dads?
What’s with the sudden insect fetish?
April 24th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
We reserve the right to shell the territory that your going to take in the future with land mines. We’re already planning the insurgency from the Overlordship. That’s just the sort of long term military planning you can expect from us readers….
April 24th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
But, magnets are easy, and they’d go on my whiteboard, so I could have Schlock launching white-hot-maimery at my work schedule.
Aw, nuts.
Jeff
April 24th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
FWIW – I tried the suggestion about “do a random teraport into the archives and slap the last panel onto something” and discovered that it is relatively true that there will be something within at least a few strips. E.g.
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20060106.html
Last frame on a mug.
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20041224.html
last frame on a mug
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20040307.html
last frame, preferably on the bottom of a cereal bowl?
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20040715.html
last frame on a mug
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20040722.html
last frame on a mug
But there is also the problem of getting snagged into reading just one – kind of like eating just one, it’s hard to stop!
But fun.
April 24th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
FWIW – I tried the advice of “do a random teraport into the archives, and slap the last frame of the strip onto something.” It almost works, although in some cases you need to read through a few strips to find a really fine last frame. E.g.
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20060106.html
Last frame on a mug.
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20041224.html
last frame on a mug
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20040307.html
last frame, preferably on the bottom of a cereal bowl?
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20040715.html
last frame on a mug
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20040722.html
last frame on a mug
There is the danger that this leads to “bet you can’t read just one” syndrome, so that you end up reading just a few more strips.
But fun.
April 24th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
I was *this close* to suggesting Rule 34 shirts.
Then I remembered that April Fools day was almost a month ago.
Still, it’d be funny for next year, non?
April 24th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Hey, just noticed that there’s an ACTUAL Rule 34. That makes it funnier, I think.
April 24th, 2008 at 7:21 pm
Been a looooooooooooooooooooooong week. Took me nearly 30 minutes to figure the rhymes.
D.
April 24th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
pee spurts?
April 24th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
Howard can’t be World Dictator. I’m already on the ballot. http://www.MadMikeIn08.com Howard isn’t mean enough to be dictator.
However, I will probably use him as minister of art and culture.
Just remember that T shirts are BLACK. Those non-black things are not T shirts.
April 24th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
Damn, was really hoping for those Rule 1… urm… toasters.
April 24th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20051031.html
No one mentioned it; I tried ordering one when they came out, but they went OOP too fast I wasn’t supplied.
A reprint run should be a possibility.
April 24th, 2008 at 11:33 pm
Well, you did ask… :-)
MadMike: agree 100%. white is an unnatural color for clothing.
doesn’t it rhyme better with house-cats? If it’s what I think it is, and I could use a new one.
April 25th, 2008 at 12:26 am
It doesn’t matter what color the T-shirt is — Cat Hair will still show up
on it…. :)
April 25th, 2008 at 12:44 am
“shelled the crap out of terrain I won’t be attempting to capture or hold”
It’s a diversion to spread the defenders thin.
What metaphor? Oh. Never mind.
csadn: Yep. I live with a black cat and a white cat. The white one sheds more, though.
Heh. I just pictured Blofeld with cat hair all over him.
April 25th, 2008 at 6:21 am
csadn – depends on the color of the cat, don’t it?
April 25th, 2008 at 6:34 am
House-chad rhymes with Mousepad.
House cat rhymes with Mouse mat.
I guess what you call that thing under your pointing device depends on dialect or something.
April 25th, 2008 at 7:30 am
:( I guess I’ll just have to hold out for a plushie schlock later on *sighs* oh well…
*le-sigh*
April 25th, 2008 at 7:39 am
I’m not sure I’d want to see a Rule 34 of Schock. That might be… disturbing. xD
April 25th, 2008 at 8:02 am
“shelled the crap out of terrain I won’t be attempting to capture or hold”
Hey, there’s no such thing as overkill.
April 25th, 2008 at 10:48 am
Another easy one for you – those of us who browse sites in “fully armored browser mode” can’t see your Amazon.com link. Given your geek cred, I’d imagine that I’m not the only one with this problem. Since this is a free way for us to send you das $jack, perhaps a Plain ‘ol HTML link of affiliate goodness might be in order?
April 25th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
Howard:
I was just looking through the books, and in the bonus story, where Schlock leaves the circus, a perfect cabdidate for an iron-on is “There was some severing, Yes.”
Text above and below could be “Do Not Disturb. I’m Already Disturbed Enough To Be Dangerous” or “Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter At Your Own Risk.”
April 26th, 2008 at 12:12 am
Sam, and JohnB: It’s worse for me — one of my cats is a Silver
Tabby; one hair can have both Black *and* White on it…. :)
April 26th, 2008 at 4:19 am
Sam & JohnB: Many breeds have a *white* or *tan* undercoat, and that’s what they shed each spring. (I know this from doing my own kitty’s fur – first with Shed-ender, then smoothing out the fur with a comb.) So no matter *what* color said shirt is – cat hairs will stick to it. ;)
Howard…. oh, well; I hope you bookmarked Oriental Traders for future use. Perhaps some of us could chip in to your “merchandise to be created” fund? ;>
April 26th, 2008 at 8:11 am
ErikTheRed: You could always try whitelisting schlockmercenary.com in you adblocker.
April 26th, 2008 at 11:57 am
@Rackham – AdBlockPlus has this site whitelisted. The problem is NoScript is blocking scripts from other domains, and I can’t unblock them on a per-visited-site basis.
April 26th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
ErickTheRed – maybe you could bookmark this?
http://www.amazon.com/?&tag=schlockmercenary&camp=211041&creative=374001&linkCode=qs1&adid=0AV97JZR2ENCPYARFKN7&
I think that’s the URL you want . . . at least that’s what the Amazon ad seems to have for me.
April 26th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Are they at least ‘color your own’ mousepads? I know you just happen to have a coloring book full of images ready to be colored in =P
April 26th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
I would /so/ buy a Habits of Highly Effective Pirates book. Probably not for myself, as I’m dirt poor, but it’d make a great gift for someone (that I could then read ;P)
April 26th, 2008 at 11:15 pm
Was it something I said? Apparently I can’t post now?
April 26th, 2008 at 11:54 pm
Rackham: Even if ErikTheRed could fix it by whitelisting, that would still leave some other viewers unaware of the affiliate link. So a plain HTML affiliate link would probably bring Howard more money than the current link.
Ryan Dobie and Faye: Picture Breya, Elf, Chelle and Bunni mud-wrestling in Schlock.
April 27th, 2008 at 8:28 am
Has anyone, (besides Howard) compiled a list the official “Rules” so far?
I would love a link to it if so.
April 27th, 2008 at 9:55 am
@WEKM
Your wish is Wikipedia’s Command.