This Just In: “Whooping Oink”
Posted October 22nd, 2009 by Howard TaylerIf you follow my Twitter feed you may have seen my tweet about renaming Swine Flu to Hogthrax. My buddy Dave said that Hamthrax is a much better name, and I agree. Later my brother Randy pointed out that H1N1 sounds like something out of Star Wars.
Do you want to defuse some of the hysteria surrounding this particular strain of Type A Influenza? Let’s make fun of it with pig-related names. Here are a few I’ve collected, and a few I’ve contributed …
- Hamthrax
- Hogthrax
- Spamthrax
- Tuporkulosis
- Porklio
- Cowpox oh wait that’s real
- Hogmumps
- The Other Yellow Fever
- Pigfluenza
- Mad Sow Disease
- Sowbola
- Sowmonella
- Spammonella
- Bacon AIDS
- Bacon Fever
- Baconator oh wait that’s at Wendy’s
- Whooping Oink
- Oinking Pneumonia
- Buboinking Pork
For you Star Wars fans:
And the end-of-the-world scenarios for the epidemic?
- The Aporkalypse
- Hognarok
Yes, I know that influenza kills tens of thousands of people annually. This is very sad. These people were not, however, killed by the name of this viral strain, which is what I’m actually mocking (unless I suggest that “Buboinking Pork” sounds more like how you caught the disease, which I would never do.)
Join me. Let’s hear your best names for an inappropriately pig-themed disease, and maybe our peals of laughter will make the world a happier and less hysteria-prone place.
Explore posts in the same categories: Health, Humor, News, Science
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:06 pm
I can’t remember who said it, and I’m probably murdering the quote, but: “Life does not stop being funny when someone dies any more than it stops being serious when someone laughs.”
And while I’m here: Toxopigmosis.
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:07 pm
Oh, and that coworker who refuses to stay home the extra day after the fever breaks? Typhoid Wilbur.
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:11 pm
The Other Yellow Fever is my favorite. Genius!
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Encephaloinkus?
Porkonic Plague?
The Other White Death (although this plays off “Other Yellow Fever” to some degree)
TRH
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Pneumoinkia, also
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:33 pm
First movie of the pandemic: Babe, Tails of the Aporkalypse
October 22nd, 2009 at 6:28 pm
My personal term is “Flying Pig Fever.”
D.
October 22nd, 2009 at 8:12 pm
Bacon Pox?
October 22nd, 2009 at 8:22 pm
The first confirmed case of an *actual pig* contracting the illness in the US was like two days ago. Swine flu is a disingenuous name no matter how much lipstick you slather on it.
October 22nd, 2009 at 8:41 pm
I’ve been using ’swine-itis’.
‘Ham-pox’ and ‘porkinson’s disease’ are other favorites.
‘P-virus’ and Sowlanum get honorable mentions (ref. Resident Evil and ‘Zombie Survival Guide’ respectively)
As for end-of-the-world scenarios?
World War P
oinkocalypse
Movie adaptations:
Swine of the Dead
28 oinks later
Video Games:
Left 4 Pork
Pig Rising
October 22nd, 2009 at 8:43 pm
My favorite bit of name humor of H1N1 comes from the Israelis. Shortly after the initial outbreak and panic, someone complained (I don’t remember who did) that calling H1N1 the “Swine Flu” was discriminatory against Jews because of their dietary restriction against pork. Their suggestion was to call it the “Mexican Flu.”
Cultural sensitivity FAIL.
October 22nd, 2009 at 8:46 pm
You know, I think I’ll just play it safe and have a cold instead this season.
Colds are kosher.
October 22nd, 2009 at 8:50 pm
Aw, the guy before me beat me to it.
October 22nd, 2009 at 9:05 pm
I used to say I’d get influenza when pigs fly. Unfortunately, swine flew.
October 22nd, 2009 at 9:21 pm
Bring on Hognarok!
I will be there with my freshly sharpened rasher of bacon – ready to do damage!
October 22nd, 2009 at 9:48 pm
I think Hogthrax is what finally got Harry Potter.
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:06 pm
Fantastically feverish, faintly fatal fatback flu?
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:19 pm
“Flying Pig Flu” is perhaps the most accurate (since the disease combines strains of avian, swine and human influenza) but on the lighter side:
Creutzfeldt-Bacon Syndrome
Hamatitis A
Hamatitis B
Hamtington Disease
Oinkocerciasis
Piget’s Disease
Porikarditis
Ewing’s Sowcoma (pronounced with a soft ‘c’)
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:26 pm
Hmm… There’s chicken, cow, and monkey, so why not Pigpox?
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:26 pm
Morgen Kirby suggests Ham and Eggzema
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:41 pm
Swineal Meningitis
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:54 pm
Put me down for anything that sticks to the “flu” theme rather than wandering off to unrelated stuff. ^_^
Personally, I don’t care what we call it as long as it’s distinctive. I mean, there’s been tons of Swine Influenzas (including other subtype H1N1s) and Bird Influenzas and the annual vaccine cocktail always includes some strain of H1N1, so we definitely need a distinctive name that’s more amusing that “Pandemic H1N1/09″ (from the bureaucrats over at WHO).
Note: In addition to humans, pigs, and turkeys, there is also a known case of a ferret catching ol’ wossname.
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:55 pm
*more amusing /than/
[Why can I never catch typos until after I've posted?]
October 23rd, 2009 at 1:16 am
I think the fact that the Aporkalypse is the legendary end-of-the-world myth for the 40K Orks makes it even better…
Boarbonic Plague.
October 23rd, 2009 at 2:38 am
Oinkfluenze
October 23rd, 2009 at 2:55 am
Hrmmmm…. H1N1…. h1n1…. hini.. thats it! Hini flu. Don’t let it kick you in the butt.
October 23rd, 2009 at 3:19 am
Whenever I see “H1N1″, my brain translates it into “Hiney”… so how about the Hiney Flu?
October 23rd, 2009 at 3:27 am
No, sorry, Oinkfluenza.
October 23rd, 2009 at 3:27 am
Oinkfluenza.
October 23rd, 2009 at 5:06 am
Swina Bifida.
October 23rd, 2009 at 5:28 am
I have always called it “Flying Pig Manflu”.
This accurately describes its heritage, combining Swine, Avian and Human influenzas.
October 23rd, 2009 at 6:03 am
Porkbelly fever?
October 23rd, 2009 at 7:35 am
A friend (who can’t be persuaded to register) suggested:
Boaredflu
Swindulled
Porkulence
Korpuscle
Isowthermia
Not enough boarishness so far. I’m sure there are more…
October 23rd, 2009 at 10:04 am
@cwearl: I bet someone called the bird flu “Chinese Flu” too…
October 23rd, 2009 at 10:41 am
Wallowing Pneumoinkia
October 23rd, 2009 at 1:33 pm
@cwearl and groundhog22:
I’m told there’s actually a tradition in the medical community of informally naming a new disease after the area in which you get your first reported case. The first case of the H1N1 outbreak this year was in Mexico, hence, informally the Mexican Flu.
My father is a nurse, and hates it when people refer to it as the Swine Flu as inaccurate and misleading. When he speaks of H1N1 informally, he calls it the Mexican Flu.
October 23rd, 2009 at 1:44 pm
And someone called Spanish Flu.. “Spanish Flu.” The animal nomenclature came after the place name nomenclature (and, indeed, many viruses are named after places, not just flus. For example, ebola {marburg, zaire, reston, …})
If you’re going to name this flu after an animal, I think it’s kind of unfair to name it the “swine flu” when only one pig in the US has been confirmed to have contracted it so far, and that within the past week.
So, it should be “people flu” or “man flu.” “doubly-wise flu” perhaps. Even “Long Pig Flu” if you have to have a pig word in there.
Or maybe call it the “keep-health-care-issues-on-the-front-page-so-people-will-subconsiously-be-more-receptive-to-the-massive-restructuring-of-the-economy-bill-that-congress-won’t-even-read flu”
October 23rd, 2009 at 5:23 pm
@AZDragon and zippthorne:
Maybe I don’t understanding something in the definition of the word “informal.” To me an informal name is one used to refer to a concept, object, or in this case a virus, where the official name is cumbersome, awkward, or not memorable. In general an informal name conveys no meaning other than a mnemonic device. I am not any more scared of pigs than I was before the outbreak of the swine flu.
I imagine swine flu stuck for the same reason avian flu did. Some reporter asked where the new flu came from and a scientist said a bunch of words. The only one the reporter remembered was “pig.”
I don’t find “Swine Flu” or “Mexican Flu” inherently derogatory. However, when I hear someone claim that “Swine Flu” is derogatory, and then suggest a name that is just as potentially derogatory, I laugh.
Given Howard’s post that started this thread, I figured the people here would laugh at it as well.
October 23rd, 2009 at 7:39 pm
I live a few suburbs away from Hendra – as in the Hendra virus, which has killed (IIRC) three people and lots of horses. It’s the disease I know of that’s named after a suburb, rather than a country, city or river.
Back on topic:
Pneumobaconiosis.
October 23rd, 2009 at 7:41 pm
If I tell you I left out the word “only”, can you see where it should be?
October 23rd, 2009 at 8:10 pm
@cwearl:
Lol, very true.
Hmm… Hamorrhoids?
October 24th, 2009 at 1:30 am
@AZDragon ROFL Hamorrhoids.
October 24th, 2009 at 5:18 am
In the Netherlands it *is* called the mexican flue in almost every case you read about it. “pig flue” probably resembles the “pig plague” agricultural decease too much.
“mexican flue” lead some of my colleagues to call it the “taco cough”…
October 24th, 2009 at 5:19 am
Bacon Lung.
October 24th, 2009 at 6:35 am
Ahem. “Bacon Contagion”. *cough*
October 24th, 2009 at 10:58 am
A friend has suggested that the current resurgence of H1N1 is either a “snoutbreak” or a “hamdemic”.
October 24th, 2009 at 11:54 am
I find all the posts funny. I added my two cents on facebook, but I’m glad I took the time to read here.
October 24th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Porkterial Hamingitis
October 24th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Peals of laughter? Don’t you mean ’squeals of laughter’? :)
October 24th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
I was thinking Hogwarts but that was taken.
Swinearrhea
Pigilis
Sound very contagious.
October 25th, 2009 at 1:02 am
My contribution: hamonia
Also, I was watching 20/20 a few night ago and they had Dr. Jordin Kare and Tom Nugent (and their amazing mosquito death laser). And for about 10 seconds your art was shown on prime time TV. So yeah, just thought you’d like to know.
October 25th, 2009 at 7:39 am
dude – you forgot this one:
Bacon Blight
October 25th, 2009 at 9:50 am
I contracted a mild variant that seemed to hit the UK. In bed for most of a day, back to work 3 days later. As the news was going on about how serious Swine Flu is, this was christened ‘Piglet Cold’
October 25th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
Ok, EricJamesStone made me laugh. “Swine Flew”. Heh.
October 25th, 2009 at 8:31 pm
Not sure if this one was mentioned…
Hamorrhagic fever
=D
October 26th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
Hmm. Babeonic Plague?
October 27th, 2009 at 2:37 am
For all the whipped-up panic: Hype-1-N1.
October 27th, 2009 at 5:12 am
Pigarrh. (Technically a symptom rather than a disease.)
One of the pig characters in Animal Farm was called Pinkeye.