November 27, 2003
Happy Thanksgiving!entry,
My son summed it up best, pointing to the calendar on the wall and gleefully exclaiming "Us made it to Thanksgiving!"
Consider that. If you're reading this, you made it to Thanksgiving. No matter how bad things are, don't for a moment think that they couldn't be worse. The world is a better place with you in it, and you're still in it. I'm going to eat a killed turkey to celebrate.
Okay, in truth, I'm not having turkey. We're having chicken. It's easier to cook, there are fewer leftovers, and the meat tastes better. Besides, it's going to be a small crowd (Taylers + 2 guests) so there's no point preparing meat enough for a short company of space marines.
Be safe this Thanksgiving. Don't drink and drive, don't fall asleep at the wheel, and remember your manners around those violently proper aunts and uncles. If you'd like, you can use this site to print out some safety signs as reminders.
If you're worried about overeating, there's a patent here for a device you could probably build out of baling wire and bicycle innertubes. There are also a number of other obscure patents for things that may be even more helpful... like the inflatable rug, or the body squeegee.
If you find yourself trapped with the rising generation and unable to communicate this holiday season, here's a handy reference for "Teen Lingo." Use with caution, though, or you'll end up scrub instead of off the heezy, and I don't want you all up in my grill on that, fo' sheezy.
This year, I'm extra-thankful for the Internet!