Sing with me now... An-tiss-uh-pay-yay-shun...

... iiiit's makin' me wait. If you're old enough to remember the Heinz catsup commercial, you're old enough to confidently stick a table knife into the bottle to accelerate the process. This will usually suffice to disrupt the "gel" created by settling thixatropes, but even if the stuff still won't pour, hey, look, you've got catchup on a knife. Spread it on your burger, scrape it off on the edge of your plate, or brandish the knife and recite a passage from Macbeth -- it's your call. Sadly, the table knife trick will not work with the truckload of Schlock books. There's nobody within reach for me to stab, and stabbing would likely be counterproductive at this point. The books left Oakland yesterday. They should be here today or tomorrow. By the time someone empowered is in reach, that someone will have a truckload of books for me, and he's not the one I want to stab. Brandishing the ketchuppy knife while my arms drip and I recite random posts might be more appropriate, but only just barely.
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