Frequently Asked Questions

Frequently Asked Questions:
When are you going to create the 70 Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries Book?

One version of this, Karl Tagon's personal copy of the 3001 CE edition of The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries,will be released in 2016. It was funded during the Planet Mercenary Kickstarter in May of 2015.

I’m a cartoonist, can you critique my work and give me pointers?

Unfortunately I am too pressed for time to do critiques of individual work.  I can only supply general advice. Draw something every day. Don’t let anybody tell you that you can’t draw.  You’ll keep getting better as long as you keep focusing on the things you’re not good at.  Plan to spend about a decade getting really, really good.  Not, that’s not the path I took.  I spent TWO decades learning HOW to get really good at things, and that let me jump-start the process when I started cartooning.  Also, I got lucky.  For further details and specifics on webcomics in particular, buy a copy of How to Make Webcomics by Kurtz, Straub, Kellet, and Guigar.  These guys know their stuff.

I'm a writer, can you critique my work and give me pointers?

Unfortunately you get almost the same answer as the cartoonists. I am too pressed for time to do critiques of individual work. I can only supply general advice. Write something every day. As you practice writing words the faults in your early words will become clear to you. The world is full of How To writing books. Find one (or several) that speaks to your genre and study it. Find a writer's group or join an online writing community. You likely won't find the perfect group on your first attempt, but you'll begin to make connections.  Plan to spend about a decade getting really, really good. You can also listen to Writing Excuses. We talk a lot about writing there.

Can I use Schlockiverse elements in my role playing game with my buddies?

Sure, but if you're heading down that path you should consider the Planet Mercenary role playing game. 

Can I partner with you to make a schlock-based project that will be for sale or public distribution?

Send proposals to Be warned, however, we're kind of picky. 

I want to buy advertising space on your website, how do I do that?

At the moment all our ad slots are contracted out through Google Adsense and PulsePoint. If you want to put your ad on Schlock Mercenary, you'll have to go through them. I managed our my ads for awhile and discovered that I was spending as much as an hour per day tinkering with ad code and answering email. Contracting with another company lets me get back to drawing comics.

I have a website, will you do a link exchange with me?

I do not barter links.  You are free to link me if you wish, but I will only link to sites whose content I truly enjoy.

Will you draw a picture for me?  I’ll pay you.

Sorry, no.  I do not have time to do commissions. I do sketches in books at conventions, but that's the extent of it for the foreseeable future.

Where do I buy books to benefit you most?

I am happy if you buy books at all. If you buy directly from us we get more money but you’ll have to pay shipping charges.  If you buy from Amazon, you can take advantage of their free shipping options.  The choice is really up to you.

I noticed a plot point and have a question about it, or I have observations to make about your characters.  Can you answer a few questions for me?

Nope! Half of my fun comes from making people suffer in puzzlement as the story unfolds. 

I have a problem with an order or a question about an order.

Please email us right away with your order number.  Sandra will help you sort it out. (schlockmercenary at

Can you blog about the fundraiser for my friend/mother/cousin? They are in dire financial straits and could use the help.

I'm sorry, but no. I get a lot of requests for this. I have a firm policy of only blogging charity events that benefit people I know personally, or causes to which I have a strong connection. Sometimes I will blog charity events which benefit reputable charitable organizations.

I have a question that is not in this list, or I just want to thank you for the comic, can I email you?

Sure.  Hearing from fans is part of what keeps me going. I try to answer reader mail promptly, but my schedule is frequently packed.  Don’t be surprised if it takes me a week or more to respond.