Tuesday, February 3, 2004

Note: 21st-century readers may or may not be familiar with the "American Tourister" commercial done in the 1970s in which a man in a gorilla-suit abused luggage. Sadly, once apes were gene-tweaked into sentience, this commercial saw renewed popularity -- not as a gimmick to sell sturdy luggage, but as a "call to action" for oppressed, newly self-aware minorities.

It's bad enough suddenly realizing "I think therefore I am", without further realizing "Hey, they're laughing AT me, not WITH me... and they've been doing it for centuries."


Transcript for Tuesday, February 3, 2004
Narrator: UNS Athens' longboat approaches the Serial Peacemaker.
Jaksmouth: Kerchak, Haban is going to hack their A.I. and disable it, but we have to wait on his word to execute. Your job is to innocuously, innocently get as close to the A.I. core as you can before then.
Kerchak: Sir, if Haban fails, there's no way I'll be able to hack an A.I. - not even with hardware access.
Jaksmouth: You're not hacking in, you're hacking up. If it drops in the crapper, smash everything that looks smart.
Kerchak: Typical assignment. My people will never shake that stupid "American Tourister" image.
Footnote: Note: 21st-century readers may or may not be familiar with the "American Tourister" commercial done in the 1970s in which a man in a gorilla-suit abused luggage. Sadly, once apes were gene-tweaked into sentience, this commercial saw renewed popularity -- not as a gimmick to sell sturdy luggage, but as a "call to action" for oppressed, newly self-aware minorities. It's bad enough suddenly realizing "I think therefore I am", without further realizing "Hey, they're laughing AT me, not WITH me... and they've been doing it for centuries."


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