January 18, 2001

Hey, readers... If you are here because of the KeenSpot Newsbox (or are otherwise here for the first time) and don't want to start at the very beginning (and I wouldn't blame you, because my early art sucks hard enough to draw a banana up a length of frozen garden hose, peeling it en route), you should start right here with the inception of the current storyline.

For those of you who've been hanging out for a while, you may be wondering what news I have to report. Well, I'm cheerfully defying company policy by riding my new aluminum scooter in the halls at work. Not much, mind you. Only when I have a meeting halfway across Novell's campus and only three minutes to get there. And even then, I spend most of the trip on the sidewalk.

The sad irony is that the company gave me the scooter as a prize for meeting a bunch of project deadlines for an upcoming trade show. "Great work, Howard. Here, have this. Just don't let us catch you using it."

"Catch" is the operative word, baby. I've got WHEELS now. And while you're reporting me to my boss, I'll be using this toy to squeeze extra minutes out of my day, lift my spirits, and lower my stress. Be sure to put that in your report.

In other news, I have not fallen down or run into anybody yet. I anticipate a life-long perfect record. And if any of my fellow Novell employees are reading this, keep those caltrops in your pocket, and stop stringing trip-wires between the cubicles. That's cheating.