Sunday December 26, 2004

Book 6: Resident Mad Scientist
Part III: Life's a Beach


Narrator:Down in the courtyard.
Kevyn:Lieutenant Shodan, get a squad up to the second floor of the hotel, now. You're looking for Ob'enn. Assume that they're hostile, and that we're playing by Jungle-ball rules.
Reverend Theo:Captain, the funeral is supposed to start in ten minutes.
Kevyn:So what? There's no corpse in the casket, and even if there were, we wouldn't hear it complaining about a late start.
General Tagon:Not through that lid. Nice box.
Narrator:Up in the hotel, second floor, Noni-Whatsit Conference Room. . .
Ob'enn Leader:Uh-oh.
Ob'enn Leader:Their Captain is sending a squad up here to investigate. Burn the books and let's move. We don't want to have to shoot our way to the parking lot.
Ob'enn Leader:Gruffi to King Gregor. Last call incoming, repeat, last call.
Ob'enn Grunt II:NONONO! NOT F7.
Computer Screen:Are you sure you want to purge? This operation cannot be undone. >Y/N?
Ob'enn Grunt I:I'm not hitting F7. Just let me do this.
Narrator:Up in the hotel, second floor hallway.
Banger Leader:Is that Stun Broom charged yet?
Banger Grunt I:Give it a sec, we're gettin' there.
Banger Leader:After we sweep the room, anyone still standing at that tea-party -
Banger Grunt I:". . . is obviously wearing armor, and therefore a hostile target." Relax. We've been over this. We go to Plan B, sweeping with plasma, and then opening up on the courtyard below.
Narrator:Hotel sub-basement B, septic access Omega.
Hotel Maintenance:The black line is this close to spitting crap at us. Turn off your fan, you fool.
Narrator:Ah, metaphor.