Sunday June 29, 2008

Book 10: The Longshoreman of the Apocalypse
Part II: Enter the Longshoreman


Narrator:Aboard the mercenary warship Touch-And-Go. . .
Corporal Chisulo:Look, all I'm saying is a Doctor shouldn't be ignorant. She's nice, but she should have known.
Aardman:And I'm saying maybe she's not ignorant. She's a mercenary, you know. To a soldier, her suggestion makes perfect sense.
Corporal Chisulo:I am no mere soldier, I am a warrior with generations of honor to uphold.
Aardman:I thought you were a tube-calf. No parents, and all that.
Corporal Chisulo:My point precisely. Honor and tradition are my parents.

No elephant of lineage would allow his tusks to be "improved" with diamond laminate, and neither will I.

Aardman:What if she'd suggested maybe giving you another set of hands? No elephant of lineage has those.

Corporal Chisulo:My hands are completely different. I am a Neophant, and this is my new heritage.
Aardman:You're not a Neophant. You're a Hippo-crite-a-potamus
Corporal Chisulo:You have no idea how close you just came to needing cosmetic surgery.
Aardman:So it almost worked, then. Good to know.