Sunday November 12, 2000
Book 1: The Tub of Happiness — The Shopping Trip


Narrator: Welcome to Planet Mercenary, Earth's biggest and best military outfitting chain. Look for it in a 31st-century mall near you...
PlanetMercSales2: So, how may I help you this afternoon?
Breya: I'm looking for body armor.
PlanetMercSales2: Well, you've come to the right place. Tell me, are you interested more in price, or performance.? We are running a clearance to make room for our fall line, but we've got quality across all the brands we carry.
Breya: Just start me at the expensive end of the rack.
PlanetMercSales2: Yes, Ma'am. Right this way, Ma'am.
PlanetMercSales2: (thinks) YES!
PlanetMercSales2: Right here you've got your top-of-the-line power armor. It's piezoelectric ceramic composite, with a buckyweave lining, and active field-effect shielding.
Breya: It looks like a tank. I wand something I can wear, not something I have to learn how to drive.
PlanetMercSales2: I can see you have discriminating tastes. You know, you can get this same level of protection in a much lighter package.
PlanetMercSales2: I costs a bit more, because rather than just lining it with buckminster fullerene carbon tubules, the suit is completely woven out of the stuff. Dupunt's patented "carbonan" carbon nanofilament mesh is guaranteed to stop rounds of any caliber or composition, and at up to almost relativistic speeds. Besides that, it's comfortable, and offers a generous power-assisted movement system.
Breya: Once more. This time in English, please.
PlanetMercSales2: "Carbon nanofilament" is an expensive word for "Diamond."
Breya: So, it's like it's made out of jewelry?
PlanetMercSales2: In a sense, yes. Yes it is.
Breya: Well, how can a girl go wrong?
Narrator: Like Dupunt says, "Carbonan is a girl's best friend."