Sunday October 26, 2008
Book 10: The Longshoreman of the Apocalypse — Part III: Schlocktoberfest 2008 - A Wrinkle in Time


Narrator: Fitting in progress. . .
Tailor: This style nicely delivers the dignity and authority appropriate to a commander in his fiftieth year.
Captain Tagon: I'm not fifty. I'm forty-nine.
Tailor: When you were born you began your first year. That year ended with your first birthday.
Captain Tagon: Ugh, Birthdays are endings instead of beginnings?
Tailor: After a fashion. You might also say that your first "birth day" was the day you were born. Each year thereafter is an anniversary. Today is the forty-ninth anniversary of that day, but it is the fiftieth time that day has come if you include the originating event.
Captain Tagon: Wait. . . So I just had my fiftieth birthday? Suddenly I'm about to turn fifty-one?
Tailor: Yes and no. Your forty-ninth birthday is the fiftieth occurrence of that date during your lifetime. It begins your fiftieth year, which year ends with your fiftieth birthday, which anniversary will also begin your fifty-first year.
Tailor: But let's not talk about age. How do you like the uniform?
Captain Tagon: Where'd that wrinkle come from
Tailor: All the wrinkles, folds, and pleats you see in the fabric are a result of the slightly stiffer fabric conforming to your shape as you change position.
Tailor: They are a deliberate stylistic choice, and add to the dignity of the garment.
Captain Tagon: I'm talking about the wrinkle in my forehead.
Tailor: Same principle. It looks good on you.