Will you please just let me call my family!
Okay, fine, but before you call your family there's something you should know.
You were traveling through a wormgate, right? Well, the gatekeepers have been doing some very unethical things with those wormgates.
Right now your family thinks-
Captain, may I monopolize your time for a few minutes? We're under attack.
Certainly, petey. Doctor, would you mind finishing this up for me?
If this is a ruse, you and petey are both getting pain pills along with your vitamins.