Narrator: Pugil sticks... They look like giant Q-Tips, and are about as dangerous. . . Which is to say that though they won't fit in ears, they can still leave you deaf and bleeding.
Tagon: You ready, Sergeant?
Schlock: For that which you are about to receive, I am truly thankful.
Narrator: Pugil Sticks have no moving parts, no electronics, and absolutely no sharp edges. Pugil-stick combat is a form of ritual combat, where touches with the color-coded 'swabs' are scored as hits. Killing and Maiming is done symbolically. That said. . . No blood, no foul.
Narrator: In the orange shirt, Captain Kaff Tagon, standing tall at 190cm (about 6'3") and weighing in at 95 kilos (Call it 210 lbs).
Narrator: In the grey-green putty-flesh, Sergeant Schlock, whose height is variable, and who weighs around 250 kilos (550 lbs) depending on who he's eaten recently.
SFX: FFT-SLICE
Narrator: If you're wondering how something with no blades can make that particular sound effect, you're catching on. . .
Schlock: I'm pretty sure you cheated, sir.
Tagon: Rule 31. Only cheaters prosper.