Sunday November 25, 2001

Book 2: The Teraport Wars
Part I: Through The Ages


Narrator:The mighty mercenary warship Post-Dated Check Loan rips uncounted terabillions of holes in the fabric of space, smashes itself into packets of singularic gravity, and shoves itself through the holes like over-cooked spaghetti through a colander.
Narrator:The process takes just over six seconds, and would sound like a coffee machine passing an aluminum baseball bat if there were any atmosphere to carry the sound.
Sign:Coffee only
No bats
Narrator:This now raises an interesting question: "If a coffee machine passes a baseball bat in the forest, and the only one to see it happen is a mime, what does he say to the police?"
Narrator:Naturally this has nothing to do with our story, as there are no police here.
Tagon:Well, Sergeant, we're here. Where do we find more eyes for you?
Schlock:There's a ridge of cliffs east of a space-port. On the other side of that there's a forest where my people grow fresh eyes.
Petey:I believe I've found the area you're looking for. It's in a high valley with a crater lake above it?
Schlock:That's the place. Get me down there, and I'll have a new pair of eyes in ten minutes.
Petey:Except that the area seems to be short exactly one forest.
Petey:I've found a lovely patch of scorched wasteland for you, though. . . Lots of nice ash in the soil.
Tagon:You grow them? What. . . on trees?