Saturday November 3, 2001
You know those really anxious nightmares you've had at one time or another where you dream you're at school, or work, or some other public place, and you discover you're naked? That level of anxiety is nothing compared to the combination of phantom sensation and psychological defenselessness experienced by the average disembodied head. A good nano-fluid bottle can mask some of the pain, but for most folks unfortunate enough to spend time in one of these cans, the prospect of meeting an employer, a teacher, or the object of one's unrequited physical attraction while in this condition is enough to make their body roll over in its grave (or wherever it might be at the time. You don't end up with your head in here if you did a good job of keeping track of it.)
Book 1: The Tub of Happiness
Schlocktoberfest 2001

Transcript

Schlock:Captain, The owners of the Princess Tyola are anxious to confirm that we've de-infested their ship.
Tagon:Doythaban and ennesby said it's clear, So go ahead and confirm it.
Schlock:They want to talk to you sir. In person.
Tagon:I'm incapacitated, Sergeant. Just tell them we're done, and have them send us our money.
Schlock:Sir, their captain said he wants to shake your hand.
Tagon:Then he's going to have to wait 'til i have one, now, isn't he?