Ovalkwiki - The Official Schlock Mercenary Encyclopedia
Writing Excuses with Brandon Sanderson, Dan Wells, Mary Robinette Kowal, and Howard Tayler
One Cobble at a Time - the official site for Sandra Tayler's writings
NARRATOR: Marineris D.C. Police, Precinct Fourteen...
MARINERIS D.C. DETECTIVE: One more time. Who are you, and why were you trying to eat the dam?
SCHLOCK: I work security for the circus. Call chief Zysk, he'll vouch for me. I'm undercover as a janitor.
SCHLOCK: Zysk asked me to sniff around for Boomex 'cause one of his clowns got blown up a couple months ago.
I didn't smell any trace of the stuff at the circus, so I thought I'd sniff the crime scene on the dam and make sure that was the right explosive.
MARINERIS D.C. DETECTIVE: And can you really smell traces of Boomex from a seven-week-old blast site that has since been hosed down, bleached, and rained on?
SCHLOCK: You bet. If you're going to clean up a blast site, use better bleach.
MARINERIS D.C. DETECTIVE: Thanks for the tip. If you get tired of working for Zysk we might be able to offer you a job.
SCHLOCK: Does this mean I can go now?
MARINERIS D.C. DETECTIVE: One more question. Have you met Lieutenant Timmons before today?
SCHLOCK: I thought so, but you bipeds all look alike to me.
MARINERIS D.C. DETECTIVE: Fine. You're free to go.
SCHLOCK: *thought bubble* You all smell alike too.
*thought bubble* Every last one of you smells like Boomex.
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