Sunday January 22, 2012
Book 13: Random Access Memorabilia — Part I: Read


NARRATOR: Parnassus Dom, in the Posadh Dean Assembly Hall...

SCHLOCK: Wow, there are a lot of people here.

ENNESBY: Terrifying, isn't it?

SCHLOCK: Terrifying?

ENNESBY: This event is huge!  The number of things that can go wrong is a combinatorial function.

SCHLOCK: I don't think Petey allows combinatorials at these functions.

The snooty bartender won't do depth charges.

ENNESBY: It's Murphy's Law of Weddings, Sergeant.  "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong as close to the nuptials as possible."

The food, the music, the lighting, the clothing, the guests...

ENNESBY: Even discounting enemy action, this place is a giant Murphy bomb, and we're at ground zero.

SCHLOCK: So why isn't anybody else scared?

ENNESBY: Ignorance.

PETEY: Is bliss.

PETEY: I'm troubleshooting on the fly.  Minor problems have arisen, but they have been addressed.  Nobody will notice anything went wrong.

ENNESBY: Oh, no...  We're part of a perfect wedding?

SCHLOCK: Now what's wrong?

ENNESBY: The karmic debt we're accruing could destroy a planet.

SCHLOCK: Well, we're in a flying city so that's somebody else's problem.