Ovalkwiki - The Official Schlock Mercenary Encyclopedia
Writing Excuses with Brandon Sanderson, Dan Wells, Mary Robinette Kowal, and Howard Tayler
One Cobble at a Time - the official site for Sandra Tayler's writings
NARRATOR: Bodyguard drill...
ELF: Xeno Team! You're defending that balloon as of right now.
It is your client. If it pops? Game over, you lose.
You may be wondering about the spectators I've invited into the bay.
If you injure any of them, you also lose.
ELF: You're not allowed to take offensive action until you see me with a weapon. If you jump the—
SCHLOCK: *interrupting, shouting* WEAPON!
SCHLOCK: Your fists, your uniform...
SCHLOCK: ... your angry, angry eyes.
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