Tuesday December 25, 2001
Note: Since the epidemic of earthlings burst upon Galactic Culture in the late 21st century (Human pre-diaspora calendar), societies across the breadth and depth of the spiral ancient humans quaintly called the 'Milky Way' have been infected with choice bits of human language, culture, and even religion.

Christmas, unfortunately, stopped being a religious event long, long before the first Unioc smuggler celebrated it. Those few religious purists remaining among the humans might claim that galactic culture corrupted the holiday, but most 31st century historians are confident that the fault can be squarely placed on the television producers responsible for 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.'

In most Galactic Languages, the expression "Merry Christmas" differs in meaning from the phrase "Look at what I bought for you" in only one way. Idiomatically, it means "Look at what I bought for you" with the unspoken-but-fully-expressed sentiment "No, you may not have the receipt."

Book 2: The Teraport Wars
Part I: Through The Ages

Transcript

Narrator:Tobir was never known for its gardens. Even in death the city remained fairly barren of foliage.
Narrator:Those dwelling amid her ancient bones seek to change this.
Chev:Jun-Chev! Why are you playing with plants here? We're smugglers, not gardeners.
Jun-Chev:And sometimes we trade in local slaves, right Boss? Well, I found us some nice, green leverage on them.
Jun-Chev:I had to set a few fires, and shovel some fertilizer, but now we control their only source of vision.
Jun-Chev:Merry Christmas.