Captain, I interviewed Corporal Pibald, and he scares me to death.
He's literate, articulate, and intelligent, yet pushing the envelope on "functional." I can't tell whether he is brain-damaged, or just an excellent actor.
Shodan Praises Pi's combat prowess, his courage, and even his leadership but I'll be a monkey's uncle before I'll trust him with a brick of Boomex.
Your sister has a number of gorillas on her staff. There's always the possibility. . .
That any illegitimate nephews would still be apes, not monkeys. I checked.