Sunday June 18, 2000
Book 1: The Tub of Happiness — Meet The Mercenaries


Narrator: In LaGrange Orbit above the planet Celeschul, the crack mercenary company "Tagon's Toughs" is locked in a bitter struggle...
Breya: I tell you, "Tagon's Toughs" is a positively ridiculous name.
Tagon: Yeah? Well when you own your very own mercenary company, you can call it whatever you want!
Breya: Tagon, I bought you out two days ago.
Tagon: I keep forgetting.
Der Trihs: Time out while we come up with a better retort.
Breya: Seriously, Tagon, the name "Tagon's Toughs" says nothing about the team. It's just an ego thing for you.
Tagon: You have a better name in mind, Breya?
Breya: "Breya's Bruins"
Tagon: Oh, that's much better...
Schlock: Maybe you two should compromise. I suggest "Schlock Mercenary".
Sign: Not a step
Breya: And why should we use your name, Mister Schlock?
Tagon: You're just an enlisted man. Er, thing. Whatever.
Schlock: But my name is rich with meaning. Dripping with it, even. "Schlock" means "inferior" or "sloppy". It comes from the Yiddish "Shlak" meaning "wretch" or "nuisance". That word comes from the pre-space-travel german word "slahan" meaning to strike a blow...
Schlock: "Schlock Mercenary!" "Soldiers striking blows for freedom"
Breya: To me it says "Slobs who will do anything for money."
Schlock: I rest my case.
Tagon: All of the business cards say "Tagon's Toughs".
Breya: Oh. I didn't realize you had cards already.
Schlock: Next weeks etymology lesson: "Irony".