Sunday September 26, 2004
Book 6: Resident Mad Scientist — Part I: Primate Principio


TAGON: Reverend, you have a visitor.

THEO: I've already apologized to you for my futile efforts at sowing discontent with our soulless, sociopathic, pseudo-koalazoid employer.

Petey pays too well, and it would seem that such souls as the rest of us may or may not have got sold somewhere in the bargain.

PETEY: Wow, when you clergy go bitter, you really GO, don't you?

THEO: Stick around.  You may see my "resigned to martyrdom" act.  The jury for my Master's dissertation loved it.

PETEY: Fine.  Reverend, I'd like to ask your advice.

PETEY: Suppose I see my neighbor across the street stealing from his next-door neighbors.

PETEY: Do I intervene?  Do I have the right to--

THEO: *interrupting* Oh, no you don't.

THEO: You can't use that abstracted parable trick on me.  If I give the "right" answer, you'll show me how our current situation is exactly the same, and if I give the "wrong" answer, you'll demonstrate to me how somehow I am the bad guy here.

THEO: It's rhetorical artifice, and in the hands of the wicked it's no more than a trick to turn every god intention into another paving stone on the Highway to Hell.

PETEY: "By their fruits shall you know them."

That's what your scriptures say, isn't it?  If you're going to judge me, have a look at my fruits, first.

TAGON: I'm not sure I understand your new biology, Petey.  Did you just offer to show the Reverend your fruits?

THEO: Okay, new rule: one Phillistine at a time!