Sunday September 12, 2004
Book 6: Resident Mad Scientist — Part I: Primate Principio


NARRATOR: The Milky Way Galaxy is a big place.  So big, in fact, that attempting to tell its story would be a job for God, or maybe Robert Jordan.

ELF: Sarge, gimme some suppressing fire down Elm Street.



NARRATOR: It's the smaller stories that interest us.  The galactic mega-epic is just an out-of-focus backdrop for individual heroes and villians.

NARRATOR: Of course, there was this one time when the fate of the entire Milky Way hung on the actions of a few undercompensated people...

ELF: If I'd wanted the heavy stuff, I'd have called Petey for some gravy.

NARRATOR: This was one of those rare cases where a little story had a very, very, very big ending...

SCHLOCK: If you didn't want the heavy stuff, you shouldn't have asked me.

NARRATOR: ... or maybe where the big story has a very, very small beginning...

ELF: Chain o' command, Sergeant.  You were s'posed to delegate.

SCHLOCK: Quit complaining, lieutenant.  My suppressing fire worked.  They're suppressed now.

ELF: Suppressed, yeah.  And on fire.  We want prisoners, not a barbecue.

NARRATOR: or perhaps where a modest story had a really shiny cover, and you bought it, and after reading it you looked back at the cover and thought "Hey... that wasn't even in there."

OB'ENN GRUNT 1: Stop, drop, and roll!  Stop, drop, and roll!

OB'ENN GRUNT 2: Go get some water!  Go get some water!