Sunday October 15, 2006
Book 8: The Sharp End of the Stick — Part II: Schlocktoberfest 2006


Narrator: Kevyn's lab, Fabber Bay Two, aboard the Touch-and-Go. . .
Elf: The biggest problem we had was communication. The hypernodes went dead as soon as we boarded, they were jamming us.
Kevyn: Really? How did you manage to work around that?
Elf: We used hand-signals at first, but eventually I needed to talk, so we decided to take our helmets off.
Elf: You know that "External Environmental Status" light that blinks red sometimes?
Elf: Well, when you're taking your helmet off it needs to say something a little more direct, like "There's no air out there."
Kevyn: Uh-oh.
Elf: Fortunately, Andy managed to get his helmet off and back on again before any of the rest of us could unhook.

Unfortunately, that's because we stopped taking our helmets off when we saw his eyeballs explode.

Kevyn: Let's skip the blow-by-blow. Why don't you just hand me the after-action report, and I'll make the appropriate adjustments?
Elf: I don't think I trust you to make the "appropriate" adjustments. I have to wear this stuff, and I need to know exactly how it works.
Kevyn: No offense, Elf, but this "stuff" is complicated. I can barely figure it out myself. There's no way you are going to understand how it works.
Elf: Excuse me? Are you calling me stupid?
Kevyn: Oh, no. far from it.
Elf: Good, because. . .
Kevyn: I'm calling you "not nearly as smart as me."