Ovalkwiki - The Official Schlock Mercenary Encyclopedia
Writing Excuses with Brandon Sanderson, Dan Wells, Mary Robinette Kowal, and Howard Tayler
One Cobble at a Time - the official site for Sandra Tayler's writings
NARRATOR: Aboard the mercenary warship Touch-And-Go...
THURL: Captain, before you make assignments, you should know that we're not the only people working on this.
TAGON: Competing bids on the job? I don't care, this is personal.
THURL: That's not it at all, Sir. We're getting help. And everybody working on this gets paid.
TAGON: Well, that's okay then. I mean... I wasn't really going to do any actual work for free.
THURL: Why don't I review our assets?
TAGON: Good idea.
THURL: Retired Real Admiral Mikhail von Mauser has hired a team of private investigators on Celeschul, and they are working closely with the police at the scene of the crime.
THURL: Ex-pat General Edgar Kerchak, formerly of the U.N.S., is coordinating the data-mining efforts.
He's also our employer. Captain Andreyasn's rescue contract fell in his lap somehow.
TAGON: These guys are connected. I'm glad they brought us in, but I don't see why they need us.
THURL: Ships are in short supply, or so I've heard. The Touch-And-Go is a ready materiel asset. And of course there is the personal connection. Ol' Mikky Mauser knew you'd want in.
THURL: And the fact that you command a solid cadre of trained personnel doesn't hurt.
TAGON: Speaking of personnel, where's Barsoom Command?
THURL: They're under house arrest in Lakeside Hospital in Marineris Dam City.
At least, three of them are. Schlock is lying low, per my orders.
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, at Marineris Motors...
DEALER: What can I do you out of today, my friend?
SCHLOCK: I want to buy an ambulance.
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