Sunday March 3, 2013
Book 14: Broken Wind — Part II: Can Full of Sky


NARRATOR: Bristlecone arrives at Parnassus Dom...

GEN. TAGON: This is surprisingly well thought-out.

BRISTLECONE: I have run hundreds of strat-tac analyses for Sanctum Adroit.

We have limited information on the Oafa, so the risk/benefit calculation includes a thick layer of Uncertainty Fudge, but I remain confident in the conclusion.

GEN. TAGON: I've read more analyses than I care to count, and this is among the very best.

BRISTLECONE: Thank you, General.  That means a lot to me.

GEN. TAGON: There is, however, the glaring omission of actual names in the mission roster.

I understand.  And while even the best-trained humans can never truly be reduced to statistics in an asset column, I took your recruiting skills and leadership into account.

Your presence ensures that the stated asset value will be met or exceeded.

GEN. TAGON: See, that's where the calculation falls apart.  I said "no" to the Oafan ambassador, and I'm telling you the same thing.  I am not doing this.

TAGON: Hello, Dad.  Are we ready to go?

GEN. TAGON: You're not going anywhere, and neither--

TAGON: *interrupting* No arguments.

I'm in and I've got a team.  I'm not letting you play mercenary without some expert help.

GEN. TAGON: If anybody needs help here it's you, Son.  And don't think you're moving into my cabin.

BRISTLECONE: The asset column is looking awesome already.

GEN. TAGON: And you need a proper avatar I can look in the eye when I say shut up.