Sunday January 11, 2015
Book 15: Delegates and Delegation — Part III: Conflagration


NARRATOR: Zipping toward Plute Plaza...

SCHLOCK: The scooter is cool, but I want a gun.

SORLIE: Yes, we need weapons.  I'm still trying to figure something out.

SCHLOCK: My plasgun lets me zip around like this, but it lets me shoot things at the same time.

This scooter flies better, but it's missing all the buttons for shooting.

SCHLOCK: So, sweet ride, lousy weapon.

SORLIE: I get it!  Now keep quiet unless you have a solution to...

... Huh.  A lousy weapon.

SORLIE: If we override the safeties we could crash into...  No, we'd need...

SORLIE: Chester, can you rewrite the brains in these scooters and turn them into kinetic weapons?

CHESTER: *on comm* I can do that to any vehicle, assuming one of you voids the warranty on the synthetic intelligence with a hammer and a nodejack.

SORLIE: Is there a Hypernode Hut around here?  Also, what's our budget look like?

CHESTER: Your budget for this project is, and I'm quoting General Bala-Amin, "all the money."

SORLIE: Spend it.  I need four hammers, a sack of nodejacks, and as many vehicles as the local dealers will sell you.

NARRATOR: Six minutes later...

car SI: Aiiee ow ow my warran—


car SI: kzzzztt

SCHLOCK: I'm doing brain surgery on a moving car while riding inside it.

Today might turn out okay after all.