Sunday November 5, 2017
Book 18: Mandatory Failure — Part I

Note: Given the extent of Peri's outrage regarding the fact that Srabben has a tlumnph on his shoulder, it would appear that a passing understanding of the significance of tlumnphs to fobott'r might be important to the story after all. 

Addendum to Note: If we've learned anything from this exchange, it's that I'm an unreliable narrator.


NARRATOR: The negotiation of passage begins...

ENNESBY: Stay calm, stay cool, and stay on script. Go!

PERI: Hello, Shiplord Srabben. I am Peri Gugro, full-sister to Uuplechan citizen Viki Gugro.

PERI: I've entered this system at Viki's request. Per the Crisis Clause

SRABBEN: *talking over* Shut up, Gugro.

I know why you claim to be here.

There is no emergency. Go home.

PERI: Apologies, Shiplord, but the determination of whether or not there is an emergency is not yours to

What are you wearing?!

SRABBEN: My accomplishments.

PERI: Desecration of the dead is an accomplishment?

SRABBEN: I took this on the field of battle, and from a foe far mightier than the toy soldiers you rented.

ENNESBY: Calm down, Peri. We're off-script, but you can bring this back around.

He's going to threaten you. Stand firm, but don't insult him.

SRABBEN: Turn around, Gugro. Fold your arms and flee, or I'll cut your thumph in pieces and turn it into boot plates.

ENNESBY: See? There's his threat. Stay cool, and push back.

PERI: It's pronounced "tlumnph," but your toothless, filthy, carrion-grubbing mouth is unworthy to speak it, Srabben Shipthief.

ENNESBY: Wrong kind of cool, Peri.

SRABBEN: Last chance, grasshat.

Turn away or die in flames.

PERI: Bring your flames to me, little kitten.

I will board your ship, flay that coat from your mange-boiled back, and then, with just one hand, I will personally rip off your only pair of arms.

ENNESBY: Connection closed. I don't think the script can be saved.

PERI: More practice might have helped.