Sunday April 14, 2002


Note: For those of you confused by ranks in modern military organizations, it helps to know that they evolved out of pecking orders based primarily upon who was bigger than whom, and who could afford his own horse. With the parallel (but horribly out-of-sync) evolution of military technology and language, we find oxymorons like "general quarters" which is NOT where a general would be quartered, and "privates" who have so little personal privacy that their rank is an exercise in humorous irony. Fortunately, their pay is similarly humorous, so the joke works on multiple levels.

In the interest of clarifying things just enough to make it easier to follow the story, here is a nice page showing you who outranks whom among Tagon's Toughs.

None of them currently own a horse. Slavery is illegal, after all.

Book 2: The Teraport Wars
Part III: Through the Roof

Transcript

Narrator:Aboard the mercenary Superfortress 'Post-Dated Check Loan' a company meeting of the 'Old Guard' is in progress. . .
Tagon:As most of you know, we're recruiting again. What you might not know is that we'll be doubling the size of the company.
Tagon:In ancient Earth circuses, new elephants were placed between veteran elephants, which literally kept the newbies in line. We need to follow this same model and provide leadership-by-example to the new recruits.
Nick:We're hirin' elefunts?
Shep:Tha's not what he sed, dummy.
Shep:We're startin' a circus.
Nick:Shep's obviously seen the new recruits. . .
Tagon:To this end, we'll be handing out some promotions. Many of you have been with the company long enough to jump a rank or two.
Tagon:A few of you will be joining the officer corps, Lieutenant Foxworthy.
Elf:But I'm just a Corporal, sir.
Tagon:You can't be. I would never let a mere Corporal command the light armor platoon, Lieutenant.
Tagon:You'll be providing air support to Lieutenant Shodan's swelling infantry.

Commander Doythaban will oversee your commands, along with the two platoons of armored cavalry.

Tagon:Those will be led by Lieutenant Commander Der Trihs, and Lieutenant Bradley.
Tagon:Chief Warrant Officer Thurl will see to your hover-tabs, your red shirts, and yes, your pay raises.
Narrator:I dunno. . . would you take a red shirt for a pay raise?