Sunday December 11, 2005

Book 7: Emperor Pius Dei
Part III: Return to the Tub of Happiness


Narrator:The Tricameral Assembly of Qlaviql is met under a single roof for the Union of the State Address.
Qlaviqlan Speaker:The assembly will come to order. I yield the floor to the Principal of Thrice who will now address us.
Principal of Thrice:My brothers, sisters, and mufters of the assembly, Welcome! The quarter has been a strong one! When it opened, we were at war with the Tohdfraug, and many brave Qlaviqlese Skywarriors gave their lives beating back the invasion fleet.
Principal of Thrice:A fifth-orbit later, we continue to enjoy peace, secure in the thought that our enemies were so badly beaten they dare not return.
Petey:Pull the other one, Principal. It has bells on it.
Principal of Thrice:Who are you, and how dare you approach -
Petey:I will address the assembly now, Principal.
Petey:Last Nogsday at 2691 local time, a fleet of your Tohdfraug enemies teraported into the Qlavo system and fired on your world.
Petey:Their attack went not only uncontested but also unnoticed by any of you.

Had I not intervened, fifteen billion people would be dead or dying right now.

Petey:The Sacred Charter of the Tricamera that empowers your assembly requires you to serve the population in three ways: Nurture, Heal, and Defend.
Petey:Guess where you're falling short, Principal.
Principal of Thrice:This assembly does not answer to you.
Petey:Hmmm. . . no, that's not it. Guess again.