I don't think there's much you can do with my hair as short as it is. Unless you want to shave my head and give me a wig.
My dear Lieutenant, you've amazed us with your martial prowess, and the gadgetry of your trade.
Now let us amaze you... with fashion tools only available to the flakymost layer of society's upper crust.
Did he just say "flakymost?"
Death is too good for this one.