We're going to grow you a full seventy-five centimeters of luxurious hair, right on your own head.
You've heard of the 'Rapunzel' brand of follicle accelerant, of course?
Isn't that the one that can cause acne and eczema, and can kill your pets if you spill it?
Don't forget the diarrhea!
I need to see about installing that soundbite as a doorchime in the mess hall.