It's true, Lieutenant. Rapunzel brand follicle accelerant is not very good for you.
It is topically applied, but it's systemic, and lots of people who use it get sick, sick, sick.
That's why you'll be getting a top of the line nanny treatment instead.
Billions and billions of nanobots will create hair for you from a template lifted from your follicles. The hair will be just as much yours as if you'd spent years growing it out yourself.
Well... almost. You see, it'll be healthier. No wear-and-tear. No split ends. No in-and-out color treatments. Just one hundred and fifty centimeters of solid, strawberry-blond gold.
I thought you said we were doing seventy-five centimeters.
Wait till you see what that extra length does, little lady.
And for the folks at home, you wait and see, too. We're doing this on live TV, but it will take about two hours.
Lieutenant Foxworthy will be here, and our studio audience will be here, but the rest of you get to see the feature-length finale of "Whose camera is this, anyway?"
It's not as much fun as Glamour Assault, but it beats watching hair grow.
I want to fast-forward.
And that's why I don't like live television, sir.
It still beats a once-per-day comic strip.