Thursday March 13, 2008
Note: Though Lieutenant Shore "Pi" Pibald is paranoid, his head is in a jar because there was, in fact, an attempt made on his life. The doctor who put Pi together, Colonel Peter DeHaans, altered Pi's memories, damaged his vision, and then had a subordinate tamper with some of his equipment. This was done in an effort to get Pi to blow himself up, which DeHaans imagined would amuse Admiral Emm, who took particular issue with some of Pi's previous demolitions work.

Of course, you don't have to take issue with his demolitions work in order to be amused when he blows himself up.

Book 10: The Longshoreman of the Apocalypse
 Prologue: Drydock
Thursday March 13, 2008

Transcript

Schlock:How'd you end up in the jar, Pi?
Pibald:The Doctor who put me back together last time screwed up my eyes.
Pibald:Also, I think he gave me dyslexia. I can't remember which side of the actuator the red button is supposed to be on.
Pibald:So now I'm red-green colorblind, and the detonator buttons are reversed. This has to be some sort of super-secret, ultra-black-op assassination attempt.
Schlock:If it makes you feel any better, at least you're still paranoid.
Pibald:Paranoia may be comfortable, but it's not exactly a security blanket.