Sunday July 4, 2004
Book 5: The Scrapyard of Insufferable Arrogance — Part III: Handle With Care


Narrator: Aboard the mercenary warship Serial Peacemaker
Schlock: Hey, there's a kitten crawling out of your gear, Pronto.

Did you accidentally bring me back a snack from the pet-shop?

Pronto: No, I stole that on purpose.
Schlock: Even better. You're so thoughtful.
Pronto: It's not for eating. I'm going to raise it.
Legs: Ooh, let's have a naming contest!
Legs: Garfield!
Ennesby: Pixel!
Entire Crew: Bill!
Schlock: Bucky!
Entire Crew: Catbert!
Ennesby: Mr. Bigglesworth!
Entire Crew: Sebastian!
Legs: Piro!
Legs: Scratch Fury!
Entire Crew: Percival!
Schlock: Spot!
Entire Crew: Chester!
Pronto: It's my kitten, and I've already named him Norwest.
Ennesby: You're naming your cat after a pre-historic sniper?
Pronto: Why not?
Pronto: Cats are lone hunters, they've got great natural eyesight and an innate patience that allows them to wait until the right moment to strike.
Pronto: They're perfect candidates for sniper training.
Schlock: Except for the part where they've got no fingers.
Pronto: I'm kidding of course.
Pronto: Okay, with your paw right in there, focus on the target, and pay attention to your breathing.